Worth Repeating: Making Your Spouse Comfortable In the Bedroom
Lindsay: Welcome to The Awesome Marriage podcast. A place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage. I am your podcast producer and co-host Lindsay Few, on the show will be our host. Dr. Kim Kimberly.
Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.
Being completely comfortable with sex in marriage is the goal for Christian marriages. It's that oneness, the nakedness and unashamed, as you'll hear Dr. Kim say in this episode, but it's not the reality for so many.
There are so many barriers that hold people back from feeling totally comfortable in the bedroom. That's why we're resharing today's worth-repeating episode. Listen to this one without the kids around. We pray it's helpful for you and your marriage.
[00:52:00] <Music>
Christina: So many of us don't feel totally comfortable with sex and intimacy and all that entails to get there, like taking our clothes off and being vulnerable during fore play, sex, and orgasm. But getting totally comfortable in the bedroom with your spouse is a great goal to have.
It is a gift that just keeps on giving. So today we're going to be talking about all about that, about how to have great sex in marriage, by making your spouse feel comfortable in the bedroom. So Dr. Kim, why will being comfortable and our spouse being comfortable in the bedroom make for better sex?
Dr. Kim: Oh, I think you want to be as open and vulnerable, I get to say it - Naked and Unashamed. I mean, my favorite deal, but I think that's-
Christina: You got to say naked and unashamed.
Dr. Kim: The picture, I mean, you want to be able to be with each other. Not worry about anything, just don't worry about the way you look. That you're just there together and you're God's gift to each other and sex is a gift to each other, and this is God's intent. And I know it's hard to get there for a lot of people.
I think a lot of people don't feel comfortable being naked or you don't feel this kind of thing. And I think women have to realize that their husband does desire them, and that is part of it for a guy.
Because we're so visual to see our wives without clothes on and, and what that does for us. And I know that women seem to struggle with it more, I've never heard of a guy that didn't want to be naked in front of his wife.
I mean, maybe, but we all have an exhibitionist in us, I guess, somewhere. And, so, that's the only place we can live it out legally is with our wife. And, so, in most instances, I think, it's us as men making our wives more comfortable, usually we're pretty comfortable. We've talked about before that we have wider boundaries. We think about sex more, we look forward to it more, and all those kind of things. And I think we just get more comfortable with it. And, so, depending on our wife's background, what they were taught growing up, all those kind of things.
I think, for a man it is our job to help make her comfortable and to spend the time and effort and knowing, and I think guys get impatient. And I think just to know that if you are patient with your spouse and you continue to gradually move forward with her, it's going to be worth the time and investment for you and for her in that situation.
Christina: Yeah, absolutely. I would definitely agree that I think worth the time and investment, but it is going to take patience. I love that you mentioned that. I think there's just a lot that goes into this for a woman. But I agree that being comfortable with your spouse in the bedroom is going to make for much, much better sex.
Confidence is sexy, and confidence gives you the courage in the bedroom that helps you be okay with being vulnerable and great sex requires an enormous amount of vulnerability. And we, probably, should have said at the beginning of this podcast but the title kind of says it all.
This is an X-rated podcast. So you shouldn't listen to this out loud with the kiddos, so I'm just going to go ahead and put that plug in there before we get talking further. But, obviously, I can only speak for women here because I am a woman.
But having an enjoyable orgasm is extremely vulnerable. No one else sees me like that and let's just be honest it's super weird. We do weird things when we orgasm, but you have to embrace that.
If you're trying to compose yourself during an orgasm, you're going to hinder your orgasm and enjoyment of that greatly. And, so, that's why I think being comfortable in the bedroom is so important, and it's going to make it for such better sex. Is because of the vulnerability that comes with that and the vulnerability that's needed to have awesome sex in marriage.
Dr. Kim: Yeah, and I think just in that to know that the person that's most important to you, the one who's there with you, he's not going to think your orgasm is weird. He's going to think that he just hit a home run. I mean, and I think, it's getting your mind around that. Yeah, it's just like that it's okay, and it may seem awkward or something.
But, no, I think there's so much, from a guy's standpoint, there's so much pleasure and joy in watching your wife have an orgasm and knowing that you were a part of that, and that she's enjoying. Yeah, it's great, and, so, I know there's a barrier for a lot of women to get past with that.
Christina: Definitely, and I think that we have to remember, too, that everyone looks silly when they have an orgasm, you know what I mean? Like everybody does weird things when they have orgasm and it's like, you're not alone, like this is just what happens?
Dr. Kim: Yeah, guys do too, I mean, you know.
Christina: Totally. This is both sides of orgasm and I know guys who have opened up about that being weird for them too. And, so, I think both sexes and both have to embrace this and just be okay with being really vulnerable with each other. And, again, it's like on both sides of that when a wife gives her husband orgasm she's jazzed about that too. She's not like somebody-
Dr. Kim: Absolutely. I mean, I know Nancy likes to know that she can turn me on. I mean, all that's part of her sexuality, and if I didn't respond to that, I think that would be a real bummer for her.
Christina: Absolutely, there's a reason God designed it this way and you just have to embrace that vulnerability, and the whole like you're said naked and unashamed.
We should be unashamed, like there's nothing shameful about an orgasm and what comes with that. And, so, we have to learn to embrace that but it may take time, like you were saying. And, so, husbands, especially, be patient when it comes to that.
Dr. Kim: Yeah.
Christina: What other barriers do you see being the barriers of just being totally 100% comfortable in the bedroom?
Dr. Kim: Well, I think trust is a big deal. You know, if you've got trust in the other part of your marriage, then I think it's easier to have trust in the bedroom. I mean, the woman is very vulnerable in the sexual relationship, I mean, she really is. I mean, you've got a guy that's bigger, stronger, all those kind of things and she is naked and she's just there.
And, so, I think knowing that she's got to trust you and I think guys got to realize, I mean, it's just not only how we perform with our wives in the bedroom. It's what we do the other times of the day of building trust, showing her respect.
Asking How can I help you? All those kinds of things go into her being able to be more vulnerable, I think, in the bedroom because she trusts you more and I think that's a huge step.
And that's one, I think, sometimes guys overlook, you can't yell at your wife and then expect her to be totally open and vulnerable with you in the bedroom. Because you she's going to be on guard a little bit because she doesn't really trust what might happen there.
Christina: Yeah, Dr. Kim, I just think that is so brilliant. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before or explain it in that way, and I've never even thought to articulate it that way or even thought that, that was true of how I think.
But you're so right, the way Dylan treats me the other 23 hours in the day, absolutely, affects our intimacy and my trust and my comfortability with him. So I just think that that is so wise and that we all need to think about that and recognize that. And I also love that you bring up the power dynamic there, too, with the fact that women are the weaker vessel.
It says that in Scripture and it's not saying that we're not strong, it's not saying that we're not awesome, it's not saying that we're less than, it's just we are physically weaker, that is a true statement. Most women are weaker than most men, at average, there's going to be some exceptions to that.
But for the most part men are stronger, and, so, there's this extra vulnerability that comes. And, so, I think you're right. I think men need to be extra patient with us and extra loving. And that's why it says in Scripture, it's so clear that men are to serve us like Jesus served us, and to be kind to us, and to be sweet to us, and to not use their temper with us, and to not speak loudly to us and to our children.
And, so, I think all of that matters and if you want to have great sex in marriage, men, listen to what Dr. Kim just said and take it to heart, and do something with that. To make your wife really trust you and trust the man that you are, so that she can be vulnerable in the bedroom. You cannot expect her to be vulnerable in the bedroom when you are harsh with her.
Dr. Kim: Right, and I think too, and for guys that just being gentle with your wife in the bedroom. And it goes back, I think, sometimes, because we are usually stronger and bigger, we got to be conscious that our wives are not.
Because women are strong, I can still beat Nancy arm wrestling, she's pretty strong. Probably, unless your wife is a professional wrestler or a cage fighter, you're going to be stronger than her. I think you have to be conscious of that too in that whole part and realize that you want to work on it together.
I think the movies are so distorted in that, a guy has it right. I mean, there's all kinds of wrong things there, when it's like God's intent was that you build this together. And it's, for us, I think it is the other things that fall into place during the day. And if we're good to each other, kind to each other, well, the bedroom is so much better because of that. It just all falls together in a really special way.
I mean, I don't see, I've heard wives say, "He has been mean all day. He has yelled at me and the kids are in bed and 11 o'clock, he comes in and goes, 'Let's go baby.'" And she says, "No, you didn't even like me an hour ago or act like you liked me and now you want to have sex." And, so, she may just out of obligation, but it's not going to be for her what you want and it's not going to be for you what you want in a sex relationship.
You want it where you feel so close that this is just kind of all the other coming together in the sex relationship, that you're just going to show your love, experience, enjoy that gift, enjoy each other's bodies and it's an incredible thing. And, so, there's barriers that get in the way of that and you want to remove those barriers.
Christina: Absolutely, I'd say another way to word it is don't settle for that weird physical exchange when you could have the true intimacy that God designed in that. It is going to be so much better.
Husbands, you don't just want to orgasm, trust me, this other real intimacy thing is much deeper and much better and what God designed. And I think, another barrier to being totally comfortable in the bedroom and something that's working against, probably, all of is porn.
Most people have seen porn or looked at porn. I don't think I really know anyone who's adult who hasn't; man or woman. Because you just have seen whether you wanted to or not. It's across our screens or across our phones or whatever, and that's a weird power dynamic, terrible display going on.
Because what you see in pornography videos and movies is a terrible example. It is not intimacy, it is not mingling of souls. It is often women who are sex trafficked.
It is them treating each other very poorly, especially, treating the woman poorly and treating her like an object. Doing things to her and her appearing like she's enjoying these terrible things that she's for sure not enjoying, trust me, I'm a woman.
Dr. Kim: Yeah.
Christina: The way that these porn stars treat and porn people treat these women in these videos, no woman would enjoy that. She's not enjoying it either, she's getting either paid to do that or being forced to do it, let's be real about that. If you're looking at porn you are definitely giving to this industry that is enslaving women and it's not okay.
Dr. Kim: Yeah.
Christina: So that's a huge barrier working against all of us. And, I think, in order to address that, we just have to address it honestly and say, "I've seen this it's bad." Call it what it is, repent, call it sin. If you have a porn issue, work on that. But also just making sure you're reminding yourself that all of that is a lie and that, that's not what you want. And creating a real, better picture of what God wants in your bedroom and in your marriage.
Dr. Kim: Absolutely. No, absolutely, I mean, it is so detrimental and even when you were just saying that, and we use the word porn star. I mean really? I mean, we call him a star. I mean, we've even got a terminology that legitimize, whatever that word is, and it's not.
So, I've talked to really a number of couples in the last year or so that really, maybe he was in the porn, some had even tried to bring it in the bedroom and they realized that, that it wasn't God's best. And when you take the time and God's best is take time to develop it, probably, for most couples to really get there.
But like none of them would go back to that sex that they had before because that now they've experienced. God's plan is going to be the best guys, I mean, there's no doubt about it. His gift of sex is better than anything the world would ever give us because He created us, and He not only knows how our bodies work, He knows how our souls work and that makes a big difference.
Christina: Yeah, absolutely. Other barriers that I see just when it comes to being comfortable in the bedroom, the obvious ones of not feeling attractive. And, so, for most women not feeling skinny enough or being insecure about some other body part or another, I think, that is a huge one that becomes a barrier in the bedroom.
Dr. Kim: Yeah, and I think that's kind of a mixed blessing because I talk to guys that say, "I tell her how beautiful she is and she is beautiful in my eyes." And then she looks in the mirror and she thinks, "Well, I'm too fat here. Is my stomach fat?” and things like that. So I think a lot of it women do to themselves because of the culture we live in.
But I would just say to the guys don't give up telling her that. Tell her what you think and feel, and your husband thinks you're beautiful. I mean, just learning to accept that and he desires you, and wants to be with you and together work through that.
Because women are so hard on themselves. And don't let that inhibit you because you don't look like some airbrushed picture somewhere of somebody that's not even real, anyway, because that's not what it's all about.
It's about the two of you coming together with the bodies God gave you. I mean, He says "We're perfectly made." So you're perfect for your husband and he's perfect for you. If you want to go on a diet and lose some weight, either one of them is fine do that. But don't let that end it, don't feel like I've got to lose 20 pounds before we can have good sex, that's a myth.
Christina: Yeah, definitely, and I think we have to let go of American beauty standards that are unrealistic, and embrace what it looks like to just be healthy. But it is hard and I think this is going to take time and prayer, and just like working on it together as a team. And I would just encourage the husbands to not get annoyed or bothered by these conversations because the pressure that is put on a woman is unreal.
So you just be patient with us and talk to us about it and continue to affirm us, because we just need it, it's really hard on them as we see on a regular basis and what we're told that we should look like.
Dr. Kim: Yeah, absolutely. I've had some couples over the years, not a lot, but if you looked at him you would think, "I bet they never have sex." Or I mean, they look kind of awkward .
I just remember one couple where he was probably 6"5 and he was probably weighed 120 pounds, and she was probably 5"7 and weighed 250. And they had the best sex, of any couple, I've ever worked with, they adored each other.
So, there was no barrier there because of the physical appearance, they embraced each other and he loved her as she was. And I think that's what women have to realize, your husband loves you as you are. You are God's gift to him.
Christina: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kim: And, so, she needs to embrace that. And I think, for us guys, that's where porn gets in the way and makes us think of things that are so far away from God's plan. And it's not fair to ourselves, it's certainly not fair to our wives.
Christina: Definitely.
[00:16:05] <Music>
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[00:17:16] <Music>
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Christina: What can we do to help our spouse feel more comfortable in the bedroom?
Dr. Kim: I think staying at their comfort level is really important. We've talked before about how Nancy came into marriage really struggling because the way she's brought up thinking sex was bad and dirty and all those things.
Which I thought, well, that'll change once we get married, it'll be okay because we're married. And, so, she won't have to worry about that being a problem when we get married, but it wasn't. So, it was like I had to be patient with her through that and help her work through that with just a little bit at a time. To where she was able to embrace it as God's gift.
So, I think it showed me you've got to be patient. I probably wouldn't initially as patient I should have been, it was more like, "Okay, we're married, that's stupid." That kind of deal, typical 20-year-old guy. But to realize that no, If this is going to be what we really want to be, I've got to bring this along. I've got to be patient.
If she gets upset and cries after sex I've got to hold her, and talk to her, and help her work through that. And, so, I think wherever your wife is, and usually the wife it's going to be less comfortable. As the husband, be patient, take time, listen to her, understand her and then ask her the question, "Okay, how can I help you take the next step? What can I do to make you more comfortable here?"
And if she doesn't know just be gentle and you can ask questions while you're in the process. You can say, "Is this okay? Is that okay? Can I try this? Can I try that?" And then your wife says, "Yes, that's fine." Or "Can we wait on that." Then wait and do what she's comfortable with.
And if you do that you're going to gain her trust and you're going to allow her to progress to the point where she's able to embrace it fully.
Christina: Oh, definitely. I think when it comes to that too, I think more and more men are struggling with this as well. And, so, you're not alone if you're a man listening to this and you're like, "Oh, well, I'm the one who doesn't feel comfortable in the bedroom." Because I [00:20:09 Audio warbled] recently we are seeing that more, like, tons of men have eating disorders, tons of men are struggling in this area.
Just recently, I had a middle-school boy ask me if he looked fat. I'm like, "Oh, my gosh." Like, I didn't know [00:20:22 Audio warbled] thought about that. But they are thinking about that these days, there's a lot of pressure put on them.
Because they're seeing a lot of images too, about what they're supposed to look like. And, so, it's a hard day and age that we live in. Where we're bombarded with these messages and there's a ton of pressure. And we can't escape it because it's on our phones and our phones are always on our hands or in our pockets, and, so, it's just really, really challenging. But I would say do the hard work of embracing who God created you to be, and embracing God's depiction of beauty and not the world's depiction of beauty.
I think we all, on both sides of this, need to do the hard work of doing that. And then I think other ways to make yourself feel comfortable in the bedroom talk about how it's okay to be silly in the bedroom. It's okay to laugh at the appropriate times, it's okay, by all means don't laugh when your husband is having an orgasm or something-
Dr. Kim: No, that's not good.
Christina: But weird things happen in the bedroom, sometimes. Someone farts or like your body is making weird noises bumping up against each other, whatever it may be. There's bodily fluid. There's just like all kinds of silly things that can happen. And I think you just have to embrace it, and talk about it, and laugh about it.
Talk about it beforehand, talk about it afterwards, and just kind of giggle about it and, by the way, that happens with everyone when they're having sex. You're not alone, you're not the only silly couple who these weird things happen sometimes. So I think that's important too.
Dr. Kim: No, I think it is important. I think about some of the times we've laughed and everything, and it's good that you can laugh together. To me, it just enhanced, overall, just because we just laughed when something was funny, and we didn't ignore that it was funny.
I remember one time, if I shouldn't tell this, anyway, we had had sex and we were kind of wrapped up together, and I guess the way my brain was working I thought Nancy's arm or whatever, and we couldn't get untangled.
And then we just started laughing, I mean, we just laughed for, probably, five minutes because it was so funny. And it's just like don't get frustrated with those things just learn to laugh about those things. And if something funny happens, like you said a fart or something, just laugh about it.
Christina: And it's not this like smooth interchange that you are envisioning. I think a lot of times we expect, like the sex is so much cool, and smooth when it comes to the bedroom. I mean, you could have a little clumsiness and what things are going to happen, and you got to embrace it.
I mean, sometimes it's going to be really smooth and that's great, but it's not anything like what you see in the movies and you've just got to embrace the awkwardness of all of that. And I think that'll help you both to feel comfortable in the bedroom. I think, too, another thing for men, I know we keep saying it and for women too.
But just keep doing the hard and consistent work of making your spouse know that they're attractive, that they're hot, that they're beautiful. And not only that, but the way that they look turns you on.
So, husbands, it's not just saying, "You look beautiful, I like your hair. But like making it known that her body, in whatever ways you want to tell her, or show her, or make noises, or whatever, that she turns you on. And that you are physically attracted to her and that you want to have sex with her and vice versa. I think this is important for women to do too, especially during intimate times, this is important.
So when you're actually having sex, when you're actually in the bedroom, making it known that your spouse, that you enjoy their body and that you enjoy what they're doing to you physically, I think this is really key. And I can even go as far as to say, I think it's a good idea to say each other's names in the bedroom. There's something about our names when someone says your name, you pay attention.
Just as teachers are constantly calling out their kids' names on regular basis, there's something we identify so much with our names. And, so, when we're speaking our names to each other in intimacy, I think that there's just something to that.
By all means, don't shout it out to where your kids can hear it, please don't shout. But you can whisper, or in the bedroom there you can shout it out. But, I don't know, I think there's something to that and I think that'll make your spouse to feel more comfortable in the bedroom, by their name being said. I don't know if-
Dr. Kim: No, I think so. And if it's a pet name, that's fine too, but it's something that you know is reserved just for your spouse and you say it to each other. And I think there is value in that. I think there is value in verbally expressing some of the things, not that you have a dialogue while you're having sex.
But just like, "You really turn me on or that feels good or it makes me feel so close to you, I love being with you." I mean, those things are really good and enhancing, and I think it goes back to what we talked before. If it goes through your mind and it's positive, say it, I mean just say it. Let your spouse, know what you're thinking, saying, feeling all that kind of stuff.
And I hope that people listening it's giving them maybe it's widening some boundaries for them of what's okay. I mean, I think, there's still probably people who think Christians have a very, very narrow view of sex. It has to be only the missionary position because that probably is what God says because it says missionary in it.
And, so, I mean, where you put this in the box and we have a God that gives us so much freedom and created our bodies to be enjoyed in so many wonderful ways. And we just kind of put God in the box with that.
And I get it, some people grew up in churches where that was taught. And, so, there was a time where the Puritans said you can have sex to have kids, but you can't enjoy it. Well, I don't get that either way, I mean, how in the heck do you have sex and not enjoy it?
But, anyway, the church for a long time, didn't do a very good job helping us either. And, so, I think that was why a lot of Christians have probably struggled over the years as much with sex or more than anybody, just because of some of those teachings that have been there.
Now I see pastors being more open about teaching about it. You can see more churches talk about it. More education for the younger kids as they grow up, understanding God's plan for sex. So you've to get God out of that box if you've got Him in a box about sex, He does not want to be in that box.
Christina: Yeah, certainly, and I think too with that it goes back to what we were saying at the beginning of this episode, is the whole composed thing. If you're trying to, like, I don't know, compose yourself the whole time, or to act proper during sex, that's just not going to go well for you. You have to have freedom and vulnerability in the bedroom in order for it to be good.
So if you're constantly trying to restrain yourself in the bedroom, it's not going to be as enjoyable as it could be. So with that in mind, with health in mind for your marriage and for your sex life. Just think on these things, and pray through them, and work through the things that are uncomfortable, and take baby steps. It's okay if this takes some time.
You're not going to listen to this podcast and be like, "Oh, I'm wild and free now in the bedroom tonight." It's going to take some time and that's okay. But be aware of where things that in your head might be hindering your sex life and what can you do to work there, work on those things.
Dr. Kim: Yeah, and enjoy the trip that's getting you there too. There's a lot of enjoyment that could happen as you're on that journey.
Christina: Absolutely. So what can we do, personally, to feel more comfortable in the bedroom, if we're really struggling with this, any different piece of advice?
Dr. Kim: I think, one, believe what your spouse is telling you. If there is an issue that maybe you brought into the marriage, maybe from a past relationship or something growing up. You may need to talk to someone or go to counseling to work through that.
So I think it is being honest about what your barrier is in the bedroom and what maybe makes you uncomfortable. And then beginning, I would first start talking about it with your spouse and see where that goes.
But, I think, we need to make sure that we're comfortable and understand why we're not comfortable, and then what do we need to get past that or work through that. And, again, a lot of it is for us, as Christians, I think seeing that this is a God's gift and embracing it at that. Which is, for some people, that's just a revelation to even think about that.
Christina: Yeah, absolutely. Definitely, so say we're in a position where we have tried and tried and tried and tried to make ourselves feel comfortable in the bedroom, but they are still just being really reserved or they're still really insecure about a lot of things. What's our next step?
Dr. Kim: I think, prayer. I think you pray together about this and asking God's help in that situation. If it's a renewing of the mind thing that God would do that. I think reading through the Song of Solomon together, and maybe even a modern translation, maybe even the Message or something, just so you really get the story behind it.
Because in there we see they make love twice and it's very graphic, and it talks about their bodies and him enjoying her body, and she enjoying him enjoying her body. And I think realizing that is in the Bible, that's not something that was on some newsstand, and that's part of the Bible, so you see God's plan there. And, I think that you may need to go to a Christian counselor that helps people with sex issues.
Most of us deal with it to some extent. But there are some issues that I might not be an expert on that I would, probably, refer someone to someone that really has had more training, that are more focused in it. But most Christian counselors can help you work through those things and they can certainly refer you if it needs to be something else.
But what you don't want to do is just accept that's where you are and that's the way it's always going to be. It can be better, I promise you, and do whatever it takes together. I mean, it's not like sending your spouse away to get fixed.
If I've got a couple that's having sex problems, I want them both in there, I want them both there. I want not only to help him or her work through it. I think I want the other to hear that and to understand what they can do to help through that process too.
Christina: Yeah, absolutely. And I would just agree with that, that it's so worth the work and also you're not alone. So if you're nervous, afraid, to call the counselor about the situation, that counselor sees dozens of couples every month that are struggling with the same things that you're struggling with. So you're not alone, they're just going to be amped for you and pumped for you, that you're doing something about it. It's going to be great.
Dr. Kim: And you may need to go to a medical doctor, too, if that's an issue, if a woman is having pain in there. And it's interesting, I see a lot more guys that struggle with ED now than I did; in younger guys, 30, 32, 35, whether it's stress, whatever's going on, there are answers for all those things.
Because I think that becomes a pride deal sometimes for a guy or something, they don't want to go admit to someone else. There are tons of guys that struggle with that at one stage or the other. So go to your urologist, well, I would recommend, I know there's men's clinics and stuff, I would go to a urologist first.
Because he's a medical doctor and he understands how those things work and see what he prescribes and does, that's good for you and then do it. It's okay to take a pill if you need to take a pill.
Christina: Absolutely. And it's not your fault, you can't help what your body feels, this is just not about the orgasm [00:31:05 Audio warbled] normal thing to do is just embrace that and if your arm was broken you'd get a cast, so go get a pill.
Dr. Kim: That's right.
Christina: Yeah, I mean, really, that's-
Dr. Kim: Exactly.
Christina: Don't put too much weight and emotional stuff on this, when it's like oh, this is, literally, just a physical thing that you go to a doctor. Again, I'm not trying to not validate someone's emotions and feelings with that, it's okay to feel things about that, but you shouldn't be placing blame on yourself. Like if my arm was broken it's not my fault, but I need to get it fixed.
Dr. Kim: Exactly.
Christina: We also have a really great resource that Dr. Kimberling, Awesome Sex in Marriage: God's Design and it just walks through a lot of things. Talking about like spiritual stuff, emotional stuff, all this stuff, and some physical stuff when it comes to the bedroom. So we'll link that in the show notes, so that is a great resource. We'll link that in the show notes, it's a really good resource.
This has been a fun conversation. I hope that everyone is taking steps to make each other feel more comfortable in the bedroom, but we can all grow in this area. And, so, I'd love to see couples taking steps in this, that's what we're here for.
Dr. Kim: Mm-hmm.
Christina: I hope you all have awesome marriages.
[00:32:01] <Music>
Lindsay: Well, I hope that you enjoyed this week's worth-repeating episode, and I hope that it was helpful for you and your marriage. We'll link the resources in the show notes.
We have that e-book that Christina just mentioned as well as we have our Love-Making survey and a couple of other fun things that are just designed to help the sex conversation be fun and approachable, instead of threatening or tense. We've created those resources just as a way to help you have more of the awesome marriage that we do believe God has in store for you.
If you enjoyed today's episode, share it with a friend who could use this encouragement. Make sure you're following us on social media. We're on Facebook, we're on Instagram, Dr. Kim and Nancy are over on TikTok having fun.
We're just sharing lots of positive and helpful marriage tidbits, and tips, and advice just as a way to help bring God's plan for marriage into where people are hanging out on the screens. We pray that this is helpful to you and your marriage have a great day and do something awesome for your marriage today.
[00:33:05] <Music>.
Announcer: Thanks for listening to The Awesome Marriage podcast. This podcast is brought to you by the Ministry of Awesome Marriage and produced by Lindsay Few with music by Noah Copeland.
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[00:33:38] <Outro>