Worth Repeating | Breathe: Don’t Be Prickly
[00:00:00] < Intro >
Lindsay: Welcome to The Awesome Marriage Podcast. A place for honest conversations and practical advice, on how to build an awesome marriage. I am your podcast producer and co-host Lindsay Few. On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kimberling. Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationships.
Christina: One common theme we keep hearing from our couples, at Awesome Marriage, is that life and marriage has been more difficult because of all the really intense things our country and our world went through last year, and is still going through.
It seems like we are still on edge and being on edge because of that, I feel like a lot of us are extra vulnerable, extra emotional, and extra defensive. I think all this anxiety and angst has made us quite prickly because we've felt the sharp pain of the metaphorical pins and needles. In many ways, we are now walking around with pins and needles, unintentionally, hurting those around us with our own prickliness, just like a porcupine.
I mean, after all, where is the reset button? and after last year, don't we all need it? Can I get an Amen? Yes. Well, today, we're going to be talking about that prickliness, and trying to help you evaluate if maybe you're experiencing some of this in your own marriage and, most importantly, how to work through it if you are. Awesome. So, first of all, Dr. Kim, I thought it would be important to just say that it's totally okay to be in pain.
Dr. Kim: Absolutely.
Christina: It's totally okay to be hurt, and to feel things, and to be upset. Being upset is not the sin, hurting others because we are upset is. So what are some healthy ways that we can deal with our pain?
Dr. Kim: Yes, and I love what you said about it isn't sin when we feel those things, it's how we handle it. And that's so important because I think some people really put themselves down and they get caught up in the thing, and really punish themselves because they have those thoughts or those feelings, those are normal. God gave us all our feelings. He just wants us to handle it in healthy ways.
I was talking to a guy this week and we were talking about it, and his was a prickly deal going through. And I said, "Have you prayed about it? Just put that in God's hands and ask God to calm you, and to give you a peace, and things like that."
And he said, "No, but I'm going to do that." And I say prayer a lot because I know it works. And when we come before God with our concerns and problems, He never says, "Well, that's not a big deal. I'm putting out fires over here or this." No, He takes it seriously.
And, so, going to prayer first and just asking God to help you, to calm you down, just unload some of that stuff on Him, it really makes a difference. And I think if it's something that you really feel like, "Man, I'm just struggling with this, and I'm coming out sideways against everybody I love." Which happens sometimes, then, maybe, counseling would be good. Maybe just to help you refocus, get on track. And there may be an underlying thing there that you haven't really connected, yet, that a counselor could help you do that.
Another thing, I think, is really good is journaling, especially right now, when we have so many things. The year 2020, all those things that have just gone along in our head and we've just gotten really full. Journaling is a good way to process, to get it out of your head, to get it on paper. I had so many people that I talk to and say, "I don't like to journal."
I say, "Well, just try it for 30 days, and I think you'll see it really makes a difference." And the other thing of that is getting it out is talking. Who's the person that is closest to you? Who's the person that's your biggest cheerleader, advocate? And it may be your spouse, and it may be the one that you've been most prickly with.
But it's okay to sit down and say, "Hey, can we sit down and talk? I know I have been all over the place with you. I've been prickly. I've unloaded stuff on you. I want to do that a different way now. I just want to talk and vent, and will you just listen, and just love me, and let me do that?" And I think there's healing in all of those ways. I'd start with prayer. I'd start with journaling, talking, and if those haven't, then, I'd go to counseling.
Christina: Yes, that's great advice, Dr. Kim, I Amen in all of those. I love that you brought up journaling, because I feel like one of the best ways to deal with our pain is to be self-aware, that's step one. And journaling really forces that clarity to help you be self-aware, so that you can deal with your pain in a healthy way. If you've ever seen someone deal with their pain in an unhealthy way, they probably have no idea what they're doing. They have no idea what they're feeling. They're projecting, they're not self-aware. That's the number one step in place we need to get to.
Dr. Kim: Yes, I think so. And journaling, you see people express themselves, artists. I've just been really aware when we were on vacation, in Florida, in the fall, there was a book in the house, and it was full of self-portraits of artists. And you could look at that, and you could just see what they were going through in those pictures. And that was their way of journaling, maybe, of getting that out. And, so, it's really therapeutic. I think God wired our brains to our writing some way that it becomes therapeutic.
So, yes, journaling; I ask most people in counseling that I see, I say, "Would you journal while we're counseling?" And the ones who do, I think, they see themselves get better quicker, they get more self-awareness, like you said. And they think of things to bring up in counseling, and the process goes quicker because they're working on it between the times that we meet.
Christina: Yes, it's really productive. Journaling, even though it feels like a pain, sometimes, if you want to see productive growth in yourself, journal. And there are some creative ways to do that, too, because you could journal on your computer, you could journal via voice memos. If you really hate writing, there's something special about writing, personally. But if you can't get there, start with a voice memo. Send yourself voice memos and just verbally process your journal.
Dr. Kim: Yes, one of my favorite that I do online, I do a writing one, but it's called Day One. And a lot of times it is just fun stuff, like when we were on vacation. I'll journal about what we're doing, and the fun we have, and stuff. Then I'll take pictures because you can put that in there. Or if I'm going to the kids ball games and stuff, so it puts everything concise there.
But it also gets me in the habit of doing that every day. And, so, when something comes up, I'm already in the habit of journaling. And, so, it'd be good to just get in the habit of writing some things down. Write the good things down and go back to them when things are not as good.
Christina: That's good. So, Day One, is this an app?
Dr. Kim: It's an app.
Christina: That's cool.
Dr. Kim: It's free. I think, if you can add pictures and stuff, you have to pay. But it's really like $2 a month or something.
Christina: Affordable.
Dr. Kim: Yes, very affordable stuff. It's a good one.
Christina: That's awesome. That's cool. I also love that you mentioned a great way of dealing with our pain is talking to that special someone. I really do, I think, talking with your spouse could be very helpful. But one huge thing that I have learned to do is to let Dylan know what I'm doing ahead of time, so that he doesn't think I'm upset with him.
So when our spouse is, verbally, processing and upset while they're doing it. It's easy to begin to believe that they're upset with you because of their tone and their body language, et cetera. So when I need to vent, it's really helpful for me to tell Dylan, "Hey, I just need to talk about this. I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with the situation. I'm not upset with you, and I don't need you to fix this problem. I just need to get this out of my system."
Because even if it has nothing to do with Dylan, it's easy for him to be, "Whoa, you're getting an attitude with me. Your tone, are you upset with me? I wasn't even there when this situation happened." And it's like, "No, I'm not upset with you." But we internalize things. And, so, we think things are about ourselves.
So it's helpful for me to say ahead of time, "Hey, Dylan, I'm not upset at you. But just so you know I'm upset about the situation, and I just want to vent to you about it."
Dr. Kim: I think that's so good. I think in a lot of situations that's helped, to let your spouse know what your intent is in this conversation, and that's good because it is easy for a spouse to take it personal. And, so, if you frame it differently than that, then they can do what you need them to do, and that's really listen. And then at the end of it, say, "Hey, I'll be praying for you." Or, "Can I pray for you about this?" Where, all of a sudden, you're a team, again, that we talk about so much and coming alongside each other.
Christina: Yes, that's good. So, Dr. Kim, how would you define this prickliness that you're seeing?
Dr. Kim: I think people are individual and it comes out different ways with different people. I see a lot of irritability, and we have a tendency when we get like that, to be selfish. And, so, we come off as, "All about me." Of course, we live in a culture that says that a lot, anyway. I think it's easy to lose our temper. I think that anger seems, with some people, just be right, not even below the surface, I mean, it's here and it's ready to fall off at any time on somebody.
The other thing I've seen some is lack of empathy. And, maybe, it's because we're so self-absorbed in what we're dealing with, what we're going through. That we don't take the time to be empathetic with the people we love the most and are closest to. And, so, those are the things that I've seen through this in relationships, in people, that come to my mind.
Christina: Yes, definitely. I've definitely seen all of that. And, then, I would add to that cynical, which just goes hand in hand with that lack of empathy. But just cynical about anything and everything. Another thing that I see is people being easily offended, and with that defensive. I've seen assuming the worst in everyone around them. Making a bigger deal of things than they are and assuming things that aren't there. So assuming things, conflict, or "He said this." Or "She meant that." Assuming things that aren't even there within our relationships.
Dr. Kim: Yes, I agree. Just like you said, you added some things that I really didn't think of because it comes out in so many different ways in people. And, I think, we know when it's happening and, most of the time, we know it's not healthy. But we just feel like we're caught in this cycle that we can't get out of. And the things we talked about, what to do with some of those, is our way to step out of that cycle. Because, sometimes, we get in a cycle that we hate, and we just keep in the cycle, go over and over.
Then when we talk about the definition of insanity; we're doing the same thing over and over. "I want my wife to love me. I want her to have sex with me tonight. But I'm in the cycle of I'm prickly, and she is hiding from me, and I don't blame her."
Christina: Yes, definitely. I would hide from a porcupine; I don't want to get near that.
Dr. Kim: Yes, seriously.
Christina: Stay away.
Dr. Kim: Yes, I just beat you up, verbally and "Let's go have sex". Well, no, that's probably, not going to work.
Christina: Yes, definitely not. Well, speaking of that, how do you see this playing out with couples? How do you see this playing out, specifically, in marriages around you?
Dr. Kim: Well, what you just said, the distance. They distance themselves from another person. They may try to communicate and everything, but if the prickly person isn't working on it, then, you're going to withdraw from them. Most people aren't going to sit there and just be a punching bag that someone can verbally just continue, or whatever's going on there. It affects a sex life, and that's why I brought that. Because, obviously, a woman's biggest sex organ is her mind. And, so, if she is not feeling, and it goes both ways. Well, I think, it's more the woman in this thing.
Christina: Yes, I think men can separate it. They're like, "Whatever, that's over."
Dr. Kim: That's right, we can compartmentalize really well, and our wives everything is here. And that's just, man, that's not good. And, then, I think that the hurtful words or actions that we say, sometimes, or things that we do that in the moment, we don't realize the long term consequences it can have. Our words can really be hurtful.
I was talking to someone last week, and their spouse had said to them something. And it's been about three months, and they're working on the healing. But it was a real wounding statement that her spouse said to her, and it's taken her a long time to recover from that. And that's something that sometimes we don't think about when we're saying those things.
We're in the middle of an argument or we're just throwing stuff out sideways. But that's where, I think, the prayer is so important to help us not do some of those things. Because those things can really cause a lot of problems long term.
Christina: Yes, absolutely, you bring up such a great point there. For me, what I didn't realize for so long is when you say things that are unkind. When you're prickly, you're irritable, or moody and you say things that are unkind, you lose trust with your spouse. It was like a game-changing revelation, to me, when I realized that when I get an attitude with Dylan, it meant I lost trust with him. That didn't make sense to me because I wasn't doing anything deceitful.
In the past, I never associated trust in that equation when it came to my moodiness or my attitude. But what I have learned, over the past few years, is that trust is more than just keeping your word and being faithful. It's important to your spouse that they can trust you to be kind to them.
So every time I got an attitude or said something hurtful to Dylan, I lost loads of trust with him. And I think it's really important that we remember that what we're giving up when we're choosing to be prickly, or choosing to be moody, or get an attitude and choosing to be unkind. We're giving up trust in our marriage.
Dr. Kim: That's so good, and it takes time to rebuild it. One of the things I tell couples, all the time, if you have trust in your marriage now, do everything you can to keep it and respect that. Because you don't know what it takes to rebuild until you do that. And, you're right, we're not talking about fidelity here. We're not talking about some of those things. We're talking about just with your emotions and how someone makes you feel. Does Dylan feel like he can talk to you about anything?
"Well, no, last time she just jumped on me." So, yes, he doesn't trust you with his feelings and emotions as much as he would. And, so, we have to work to repair that, which you've done.
Christina: Yes, you want to feel safe with your spouse, and you can't really do that if they're going to be unkind to you.
Dr. Kim: Yes, exactly.
Christina: Yes, definitely.
Dr. Kim: But he's not hiding in the closet anymore?
Christina: Not anymore. Not in the last couple of years. Sometimes I hide in the closet from my kids. Yes, I think, some other things that I see playing out with couples, when it comes to this prickliness, is, like you mentioned, the irritability. Because of that everything turns into a fight. Small things that shouldn't turn into a fight, turn into a fight because of the irritability there.
I also see couples getting really critical of their spouse. So they can't do anything right because nothing is right with the world. You see the world through these prickly glasses and everything looks so awful. So because of that, you become so unfairly critical of the people who are up-close to you. Who are really just trying to love you like your spouse. And, so, that criticalness can be really damaging to a marriage.
Dr. Kim: Yes, the things we say and do, in the moment. I was thinking of how many times, in the last, probably, six months, that I've had couples that have had prickly fights. And, so, I'll say, "Well, let's talk about that." And, then, they don't want to tell me what they got in a fight over because it was so insignificant. But they were fighting over everything, maybe, they left a glass and didn't put it in the dishwasher and, so, that becomes a blow up. Things that we talk so much about choosing your battles and when you're prickly, you're not choosing your battles well.
Christina: Yes, you're just fighting over everything. And with that, if you're prickly and everything's awful, and the world is the worst. Well, you're going to end up making assumptions about your spouse's motives and that's going to get into a ton of fights. Because, again, you're seeing everything super critically, and you can never make an assumption about someone's motives. You don't know anyone's motives. But, in our arrogance, we think we do.
Dr. Kim: Yes. One of my favorite stories is a couple that he worked night shift and he would come in about two or three in the morning, and he was a real stickler. He liked the kitchen to be clean. Well, like for a week in a row, there were crumbs on the counter.
And, so, his assumption was she was doing that because she was mad. It was coming out sideways, that she was doing it to irritate him. And when we got into counseling and talked about it, what really happened was the seven-year old was getting midnight snacks and leaving them there.
But he got mad at his wife. He was blaming her for that. He made assumptions without ever checking it out and say, "Hey, there were crumbs last night. Do you know anything about that?" Or just sweeping them off himself. So, yes, we can make assumptions and get all upset about something, and it's not near close to what's going on with our spouse.
Christina: Yes, definitely. And, then, one other thing that I've seen with couples is the couple can gang up and be prickly together. And, so, you end up being really cynical of everyone and everything around you, and you end up being this very unhappy couple. Which leaves you very lonely. And even though you have each other, being grumpy and cynical together. Is that really how you want to live your life.
Dr. Kim: No, that's really not fun, I don't think. I mean, we've never done that. But I've seen some couples that get that, and they're, "It's you and me against the world." But it's like, "Because we're prickly, it's why we're against the world. We don't like anything."
Christina: Yes, definitely.
[00:17:00] < Music >
Announcer: Wherever you are in your marriage today, learn ways to sustain the love, intimacy, and sex into the second half of your marriage. Dr. Kim's newest book, Love, Intimacy, and Sex in the Second Half, it's available right now.
This book takes a close-up look at him and Nancy's marriage from the beginning to now, and it's actually a co-write with Nancy. It's so fun to hear from both of them in this book. As they share ways that they have sustained the fun, the flirting, and kept the spark alive into the second half of their marriage. The book's available for right now. You can find the links in today's show notes.
[00:17:39] < Music >
Christina: Well, what happens to our marriage if we become prickly with each other and we don't resolve it?
Dr. Kim: The withdrawal that we've talked about, and that gets more extreme. It may be physical, and, then, it gets emotional, or it may be emotional and, then, it gets physical. So I think that just withdraw. And, so, you've got two people existing together instead of being married and working together.
There are more fights because, like we just said, you fight over anything. Things that, in the past, you would have thought, "We can't fight over that." You may not even think about it. And then I think the emotion, the hurt feelings, and things that happen. So if we are doing that over and over, all those things going to happen, and every one of those is damaging to a marriage relationship.
And, so, like you were saying earlier, we, sometimes, don't realize the damage we're doing. And when you do that over a period of time, yes, it can always be repaired. But, man, it takes a lot of work.
Christina: Yes, absolutely, to repair that. Yes, if you're going to be prickly with each other, you're going to wear your spouse's patience out with you. I mean, they're going to lose patience with your prickliness. And what you said about that withdraw, is so true.
One thing that I've seen is, maybe, your spouse is going to look for reasons not to come home because they don't want to be around you. They stay late at work because they're like, "I don't want to go home and be criticized." Or "I don't want to go home and deal with that attitude or that moodiness. " So just finding reasons to not be around home, which that is a load of trouble to get yourself into.
Dr. Kim: It is, because all of us want our home to be a refuge. Because we can't, all the times control what happens during our day and the people around, or things at work, or even happen at work. And, so, your home should be that place you come, and get restored, and rejuvenated, and you want to be and ready to go back out in the world the next day or after a weekend or something. And, so, when your home is not, and, then, maybe, your work or whatever else you're doing is not, that's a bad place to be.
Christina: Yes, definitely. Well, Dr. Kim, what are some red flags that maybe we are being prickly and hurting our spouse because of our own pain?
Dr. Kim: When it comes out sideways, instead of us just sitting down with our spouse and talking about it. The healthy way is, yes, you may have all those feelings. We're not discounting those feelings. But sit down with your spouse, talk about it, do the things that we talked about doing.
Because if you don't, it is, and you're going to say things, do things, that are very harmful to your marriage. Because you haven't really addressed the issue with your spouse, or been honest or open with your spouse about it.
And, then, we take things out on our spouse. It's why in the world we take things out on the people we love the most, but we all seem to do that. And, then, I think, listen to your spouse. If your spouse is saying, "You're really hurting me."
"You're taking things out on me."
"We need to work on this." Listen to your spouse in that.
Christina: Yes, absolutely, that's good. I feel like another kind of sign, that might be an indicator that your prickliness is high is if you feel like every day is a bad day. Because every day can't be the worst, statistically speaking, that's not true. That every day could be the worst. I think, rationally, thinking that can't be true. But if you feel like every day is a bad day, you're, probably, dealing with some really intense pain and you probably need to go see a counselor.
Dr. Kim: Yes, I think so, too. You're exactly right, if your Groundhog Day is a bad day, every day, that's miserable. And what you said about going and seeing a counselor, the people, if you're connecting with what we're talking about today, get help. I mean, don't just sit there and continue to do this.
Life is precious, life is short. Every day is valuable, and you don't want to miss out on one of those days, especially, with the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. That should be something that's growing, and improving, and you're learning with each other every day, not fighting over things.
Christina: Yes, definitely, and I love what you said about that there can be good in every day. Not that every day is going to be joyful, but there can be purpose in every day. I love what you said, value in every day. Yes, there can be purpose because God is good and He's working all the time. Even if it's your own growth, or your own sanctification, or you learning through a trial. There can be purpose in every day, if you allow God to move.
Dr. Kim: Exactly, even in your prickly days, if you let God move in your life with that.
Christina: Mh-hmm, yes, definitely that's good. So, Dr. Kim, cure us. What is the cure? How can we get rid of the prickliness? How can we calm down and be less hurtful?
Dr. Kim: You've got to look at yourself, first. If your spouse is saying, "Man, it's really hard to be around you." Or if you notice I haven't been home in five days. Really look at yourself, take responsibility, ask for forgiveness, pray, and get counseling if you need to. I mean, those are all the kind of things that you can really do.
But when we're prickly, we have a tendency to blame everybody else. I think it's because we get so subjective, so self-centered, and it's hard to take responsibility. The first step is taking responsibility. Just a 12-step thing, admitting you have a problem, taking responsibility for that, asking God in, asking forgiveness, and getting whatever help that you find that you need.
And it may be a mentor, it may be another guy or another woman that you say, "Man, I have been this, I am working on this. I am praying this, I'm journaling on this. I'm going to counseling; can you meet with me once a week? And you can help me with it, you can hold me accountable. I can vent some with you, and maybe I can learn to vent in a healthier way than I have been." Just take a step and get out of it.
Christina: Yes, that's good. I love that you brought up the 12 Steps, talking about Alcoholics Anonymous. Because, literally, when I wrote this question, the first thing I thought of was that beautiful AA Serenity Prayer. I feel like that prayer would work wonders here. The prayer that says, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Because so often life is hard. We're going through some really hard trials, and we suffer, and that's tough. But there are things we can control and there are some things that we can't, and this prayer can just like the wisdom should know the difference is huge.
Dr. Kim: It is. And the other thing I love is when you ask yourself the question, "Should this be said? Should it be said by me? And should it be said now?" And if you take the time to go through that, you're not going to say the things that you might say, otherwise. What I had to learn is, if I had something so good I wanted to say to Nancy, I thought, and I would say it at the wrong time. And when I learned, "Okay, I really do think this is valuable for us, but I got to say it at a time she can hear me." And that was so helpful, for me, to learn to do that.
Christina: Yes, that is my least favorite prayer because I have a lot of words and I have a lot of things to say. And when I pray that prayer, I'm not kidding you, 90% of the time, God's like, "No, be quiet, Christina." And I'm like, "Uh, rude-"
Dr. Kim: "God, what are you doing?"
Christina: "I have so much to say."
Dr. Kim: Don't you know if I'd been around in Bible times, I would have had my own book, seriously?
Christina: Totally, so many words. When it comes to the cure to this prickliness, I really struggle with this, if I'm being honest. So I'm right there with all you prickly people. You're certainly not alone. I think, for me, the way to calm down and be less hurtful is to just be self-aware. And being self-aware enough to know when I need to take a quick time out and pray with God, to really turn my heart around.
And, for me, I really do, I have to physically leave the situation and be alone with God for a few minutes because I cannot muster up kindness. I cannot muster up self-control on my own. I have failed too many times to know that it's just not true of me. I cannot muster up those two things on my own. It's only when I abide in Christ that I can calm down and be kind.
Dr. Kim: Yes, and I love David so much, in the Bible, because David lashed out against God some. And to know that if you're going to lash out about something, why not do it to the one who created you? That is going to help you and guide you through to healing in that.
I've got a client that I've seen for a few months that I just love her because she is so honest. She will tell me her conversations with God, but it was like, "No, I don't want to do that, God. Why are you saying I have to do that?" She'll go through that and she always gets to the right place. But she just has this very open, honest, transparent relationship with God that is so healthy.
And, so, sometimes, is okay. Sometimes I want to go to God and I just want to rest in His presence, and I want to just let Him touch me and heal me. There's other times I say, "God, I don't get this." That's okay to do that, too. And say, "God, I'm prickly. Why am I prickly?" Whatever it is going to Him, He does have the answer, always.
Christina: Yes, that's good. Another thing, for me, when I get prickly, I have to remind myself that not everyone is thinking about me as much as I think they are, and as much as I think about me. Because, so often, we unfairly get prickly or defensive because we assume people are out to get us or that their motivation is to, intentionally, make us miserable.
When a more likely scenario is that they just didn't think about what they were doing. That they had no idea that they hurt you. That they just weren't thinking of you. Not that they were thinking of you and trying to make you miserable.
Dr. Kim: Yes, that's so true, and that's such a thing if we're in that to work on. I've worked with people, and it keeps you miserable, really, because then you're on guard with whoever you're with. And, sometimes, you're missing out on a relationship that could really be healthy because you've made an assumption or misread something that person said or did.
Christina: Yes, and missing out on deep connection because you are being so defensive, and thinking that everybody is out to get you. Yes, that's good.
Dr. Kim: Yes, exactly.
Christina: Well, Dr. Kim, this has been an interesting conversation. I hope everyone can calm down, and breathe, and put their porcupine needles away, is what they're called, needles, I don't know, after listening to this. What final piece of advice do you have for our listeners, today?
Dr. Kim: Well, I hope people heard that when you have those feelings it's normal. That most of us go through it at some time or other, and that there's always an answer.
The main thing I'd want people to see is it is normal to get there, at times. It does affect our relationships in negative ways, and God always has a way out. There's always an answer for you.
Christina: That is good. Well, this has been a fun conversation. For those of you that are new to the podcast, welcome to the show and we are so glad you are here. If you are enjoying the podcast, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. So that each new episode, automatically, downloads to your phone, so that you can always tune in. And if you haven't already, please leave a rating and review of the podcast wherever you listen.
It is the best way to show your support for the show and to help more couples find the show. And, hey, as always, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to reach out to us. You can email us at info@awesomemarriage.com or direct message us on Instagram. We love praying for you and we love hearing from you. Have a great day and do something awesome for your marriage today.
[00:29:08] < Outro >
Announcer: Thanks for listening to The Awesome Marriage Podcast. This podcast is brought to you by The Ministry of Awesome Marriage and produced by Lindsay Few, with music by Noah Copeland. If you haven't signed up for Dr. Kim's Weekly Marriage Multiplier Email, we encourage you to do so today. Marriage is hard and life is busy, which is why we need real, practical, reminders of ways to build an awesome marriage. Sign up today to get this quick and compelling email from Dr. Kim each week. If you enjoyed this content, share the podcast with a friend.