Your Struggles Can Be Building Blocks of a Stronger Foundation
This week in the Dispatch:
April Fool’s stuff in Quick Hits!
“Before You Split” in Books
“Fighting for Your Marriage” in YV
Stacy Henagan joins me on this week’s AM Podcast
A look at “Emotional Intimacy” in Insights
Take your marriage up a notch in this week’s “Challenge” and “Next Steps”
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Happy April Fools Day! I promise not to “prank” you in this week’s Dispatch but want to share some fun April Fool’s stuff!
The first recorded Fool’s Day was 1392, which means that celebrations might have started then or before that.
On April 1, 1957, the BBC TV show Panorama ran a segment about the Swiss spaghetti harvest enjoying a “bumper year” thanks to mild weather and the elimination of the spaghetti weevil.
On April 1, 1996 Taco Bell took out newspaper ads saying it had bought the Liberty Bell “in an effort to help the national debt.” Even some senators were taken in, and the National Park Service even held a press conference to deny the news. At noon, the fast-food chain admitted the joke, along with donating $50,000 for the bell’s care.
Look below for the answers to these questions:
1. Which restaurant chain fooled the public on April 1, 1998 with the introduction of a fictional sandwich specifically for left-handed people?
2. In Portugal, what object is traditionally thrown at friends in celebration of April Fool's Day?
3. The “core” of this computer company goes back to its founding on April 1, 1976.
4. The United States sent up Tiros I, the 1st satellite of this kind, April 1, 1960.
5. Which one of these April 1 events is 100% on the level?
The BBC released footage of a rare species of penguin that can fly.
Google sent out a memo to people in its offices to keep an eye out for an employee’s escaped pet python.
The state of Alabama announced it was rounding the value of Pi down to 3, rather than 3.14159, which is too complicated.
Sports Illustrated profiled a pitcher who can throw at 168 miles an hour with perfect accuracy.
Great Reads:
Carey Nieuwhof has been a good friend for six years now. He was the first guest on the Awesome Marriage Podcast, at a time when we were reaching less than a hundred people. (We have now surpassed 2 million downloads!) Carey is a great leader and his Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast is one I listen to consistently.
A couple weeks ago I had the honor of interviewing Carey’s wife, Toni. She now tops the list of my favorite people in the Nieuwhof family! Toni, a former divorce lawyer, makes a great case for staying together in her new book, Before You Split: Finding What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage. If you are frustrated with your marriage, want to strengthen it for inevitable hard times, or are on the brink of giving up, this book is for you. Toni is wise, empathetic, and insightful. She says so well what I believe: It is never too late!
At Awesome Marriage, our free 10 Things To Do Before You Get a Divorce resource has been downloaded by over 5,000 couples on the brink of divorce.
YouVersion Plan:
This is one of my favorite plans because I believe so strongly in the concept. We have to fight together for our marriage. The world has more negative things to say about marriage than positive, but God gave us marriage as a gift. Next to Him, it is the primary relationship in this life for those of us who are married. Join me in this six-day plan and let’s talk about how to fight together for your marriage.
Insights:
Before You/They Split
I enjoyed talking with Toni Nieuwhof and recording the Awesome Marriage episode with her as my special guest. Her new book Before You Split is almost essential for every couple living in our culture today. When anyone is unhappy in their marriage, voices everywhere that scream “Get out!” And “get out” is what a lot of people do.
Toni and her husband Carey hit a wall in their tenth year of marriage. It was rough and divorce was on the table. Not in a threatening way but in the sense that, “We cannot go on like we are living. It’s killing us.” Fast forward to today, when Toni said, “I never thought that marriage could be this good.” Wow! Toni and Carey made some crucial decisions when they came to that marriage crossroads in the tenth year.
First, they decided that they really did not want to get a divorce. Second, they decided to trust God with the covenant they made with Him when they married. That decision was crucial. It did not “fix” things, but it got them on the same page, headed in the same direction. They put God where He wanted them to - in the center of their marriage. In the upcoming Awesome Marriage podcast episode, Toni shares the steps they took to get from where they were then to where they are today.
Consider this. Too many people just give up on their marriage. They decide it is too much work and too hard. I cannot argue that. Marriage is hard and there is a lot of work to be done. But the payoff makes all the work and effort worthwhile. If Toni and Carey had divorced in year ten, they would have missed out on everything they have today. The same was true of Nancy and I in year seven.
Giving up rips away all the hopes and dreams you both had for your own Awesome Marriage. The things Toni and Carey and Nancy and I went through were all part of building the marriages we have today. When you face hardships and trials together, and when you embrace them and lean in, your struggles become part of the foundation you are building. You also gain the confidence that, with God’s help, you can fight off anything that attacks your marriage.
There is a myth that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It is not. That person on the other side of the fence has problems and baggage and is human just like you and your spouse. They, too, are broken. The grass gets the greenest where you water and fertilize it. Always water and fertilize on your side of the fence!
The Bottom Line: If you are on the road towards ending your marriage - STOP. Stop and give it one more chance. Stop. Give our free 10 Things to do Before You Get a Divorce resource an honest try. Ask God to work a miracle. He is in that business, you know!
Challenge:
On a 1 to 10 scale (10 being highest), how committed are you to your marriage today?
What is one thing that you can do every day that will strengthen your marriage?
Next Step:
No matter whether you rate your marriage a 10 or a 1 today, recommit together to the covenant you made on your wedding day and take another step towards living out that covenant in your marriage.
April Fools Answers
Burger King released an ad for the fictitious "Left-Handed Whopper" on April Fool's Day of 1998, upon which reportedly thousands of customers went to their stores requesting the sandwich.
Flour. “Flour bombing” is an established April Fool's Day practice in Portugal and some other countries.
Apple
Weather satellite
It just so happens that there WAS a python loose in a Google office building on April 1, 2007. All of the other events were pranks.
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