Forgiveness Clears the Air
This week in the Dispatch:
Quick Hits Just For June
Read: What does it mean to rethink? Adam Grant’s latest book
Your Kids and Your Marriage in this YV Plan
Listen: The Vital Connection Between Intimacy and Love
Watch: “One Sided Margin” Can You Create Margin Alone? This week on the Awesome Marriage YouTube Channel
“Keeping Score” in Insights plus Next Steps and a Challenge
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Celebrate in June:
June 12: Superman Day (my favorite superhero - by far!)
June 23: Pink Flamingo Lawn Ornament Day (If you have one in your yard, send us a pic and we will choose the best for a $25 gift card!)
June 29: Please Take My Children To Work Day
Famous Dates in June
6/01/1967 - The Beatles release “Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band”
6/11/1986 - Ferris Bueller's Day Off was released in theaters. The rare Ferrari 250 GT Spyder California was not really destroyed in the film.
6/12/1987 - "Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." - Ronald Reagan, referring to the Berlin Wall.
6/14/1954 - US President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a bill that placed the words “under God” into the United States Pledge of Allegiance.
5 Trivia Questions for June:
What historical event took place on Tuesday, June 6, 1944?
The movie Lady and the Tramp was released on June 22nd of which year?
Which song from The Police was at the top of the US and UK charts in June 1983?
What was patented by Samuel Morse on June 20th, 1840?
In the early Roman calendar, how many days were there in June before it was reformed later in history by Julius Caesar?
Read:
Adam Grant gives me the opportunity to look at things from a different perspective. In his latest book Think Again, he challenges us to give the benefit of the doubt, embrace the unknown, and know the joy of being wrong. He says that creative geniuses are willing to rethink their stances, admit when they do not know something, and seek critical feedback. We can learn how to rethink, and Grant shows us how to do just that. We live in a world that changes every day and learning to rethink may be a skill that can give us that edge we are looking for.
YouVersion Plan:
From the day they are born, everything revolves around our kids. Realistically, it has to. Yet, what is fine at first must change over time, otherwise couples risk creating an unhealthy home culture. Pastor Tony Doland and his wife Natalie, parents of five, join me in this plan.
Listen:
Awesome Marriage Podcast: Worth Repeating: The Vital Connection Between Intimacy and Money
As Christina and I take a four week break, we again open the vault of 468 podcasts and select a podcast that we think is “Worth Repeating.” This week Brian and Cherie Lowe join me to talk about The Vital Connection Between Intimacy and Money. The Lowes believe that God’s vision for your marriage is more than mediocre. Money and sex are two of the most common tension points in marriage, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Don’t miss this one!
Watch:
This week on the Awesome Marriage YouTube channel, we continue with a four-part series on “Creating Margin in Your Marriage.” This week I will talk about “One Sided Margin.” Last week I defined margin and the process of how to create it in your marriage. But what if your spouse is not all-in like you are? Now what do you do? Don’t miss this vlog!
Insights:
Keeping Score
In sports, the scorekeeper keeps track of everything that goes on in a game. Take basketball. The scorekeeper records who scores, who fouls, who is in the game, who’s not and everything in between. The scorekeeper’s work is essential to the game of basketball. It’s more than who won the game, it’s the story of the game.
Now, what about a scorekeeper in marriage? What if someone wrote down every bad, wrong, careless, or stupid thing you did in your marriage? What if that person were your spouse? What if they wrote it in permanent ink so they would never forget all the things you did? Plus the scorekeeper wants to make sure that you do not forget either. The scorebook is always there to prove their point.
As a counselor, I see people keep score for a number of reasons, but none of them are healthy.
Here are some examples:
They are afraid their spouse will do the same thing again.
They don’t think their spouse has been “punished” enough.
It’s a way to control their spouse.
It’s a way to protect themself.
You fill in the blank __________________ .
Not only does keeping score in marriage never work, it is a marriage killer. You see, in marriage there is something that is far more important than scorekeeping: forgiveness. It’s what God wants us to do - actually, it’s what He commands us to do! Why? We all will screw up. We will all hurt or disappoint our spouse at some point. We all need each other's forgiveness. There is no perfect spouse and there never has been. Forgiveness clears the air. Forgiveness opens the door for reconciliation. Forgiveness paves the way for an Awesome Marriage. Scorekeeping never works. Forgiveness always works!
Challenge:
Being completely honest, are you or have you ever been a scorekeeper in your marriage?
Is there a record of wrong that you need to let go of and instead replace it with forgiveness?
Next Step:
Pray for God to give you a heart of forgiveness for your spouse.
Trivia Answers:
Normandy Beach Landings
1955
Every Breath You Take
Morse Code
29
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