The Awesome Marriage Quiz has been on our website for a few months now, and thousands of you have taken it. The idea is to answer the twenty questions and see how your marriage rates. Then you can take advantage of the hundreds of free resources we have on the site to improve your marriage.
I asked our tech guru, Andy Knight, to give me an overall recap of the responses. Ninety-four percent of you said that you would do whatever it takes to have an Awesome Marriage. That’s great! It’s the same response that I had. Then I began to think, What does that really mean? It’s easy for me to say I would do whatever it takes. People expect me to say that. But how does it play out in my life day after day?
In the big picture, I honestly think I do a pretty good job. Nancy and I have been married a long time. We took divorce off the table years ago. We set goals for our marriage that we have worked on and continue to work on. They have drawn us closer to each other and closer to God. Yet when I break it down into twenty-four segments—one for each hour in a day—I don’t always look as good. There are days that I feel tired; and when I am tired, I tend to become selfish with how I spend my time. If you have followed me for some time, you know that Nancy’s “love language” is quality time. Some days I want my time just for me and don’t care much about her “love language.” Yet doing whatever it takes to have an Awesome Marriage means exactly what it says—doing whatever it takes. If I don’t figure out how to do that with the twenty-four hour segments, someday my big picture could crash.
I think the answer goes back to the basics. I can’t do it on my own, but I can do it by letting God guide me each day. Look at it this way: God knows me better than anyone because He made me! He knows I get tired and selfish, and He is there to guide me through those times. My job is to invite Him in and follow His lead. Then doing whatever it takes is possible through Him and His power, not through me and my power.
What about you? When it comes to your marriage, what does it mean to you to be fully committed? What does it mean to do whatever it takes? Are you trying to do it on your own, or are you inviting the Creator of the universe to help you? On your own it will not work. With God, it works every time.
Be sure and get your copy of Dr. Kim’s new book, 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.