Margin Opportunities (Part 4 in the Series)


Throughout the past few discussions on creating margin in our marriages, we have defined what it means to have margin in marriage; we have learned about opportunities to create margin; and we have talked about creating margin together and creating it alone. Now let me paint you a picture of what a marriage with margin actually looks like.

I come home late from a stress-filled day at work. Nancy says, “You look like you have had a tough day.” She hugs me, and we sit down together and talk through my day. That creates margin for me. Because of Nancy’s positive response to me, I will be much more aware when she has a rough day. I will want to support her like she supported me. We are creating margin.

I go clothes shopping with Nancy. She is looking for something to wear to a party. We have been in almost every ladies store in the mall, and I am tired and frustrated. Instead of expressing my frustration, I focus on her. I see her frustration. I tell her the dress she tries on looks great on her but if she wants to keep looking, we will. That creates margin.

I want to go to a sporting event, but Nancy has no interest in going. She goes anyway. Not only does she go but she doesn’t complain. She gets into the game (at least a little) and focuses on us being there together. Margin is created.

I always have a choice in how I will react to my wife. I can create distance in the marriage, or I can create margin. Distance loses. Margin wins. I choose margin.

What will you choose?

In 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage, Dr. Kim helps you change your marriage, one step at a time, from where it is today to where God wants it to be.