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Dirty Little Lie Number 4: If you really love someone, you will have a happy marriage.

I have taught couples as they prepare for marriage for a lot of years.  I have met with hundreds of them.  I give them all the facts and statistics.  I tell them how hard marriage is and that those who have long lasting, successful marriages work really hard at it.  I tell them that love alone is not enough.  Heck, even both of them being Christians does not insure a healthy marriage.  Marriage is a journey.  It has ups and downs.  There are good days and bad days.  There are times you never want to see your spouse again and days that you cannot get enough of them.  The couples that we see holding hands and that are incredibly happy after 50 years of marriage, have worked at it every day.  Loving someone may help you stay in the marriage but it will not take you the distance by itself.  There is much more to it.  Things like perseverance, patience, unselfishness, listening, talking, solving problems, staying out of debt, keeping romance alive, and keeping God at the center all go into a successful marriage.

Bottom Line: Marriage takes work.  Marriage is worth the work.  Just loving someone insuring a happy marriage is a “dirty little lie.”

Dr. Kim