"The Hot Seat" with Dr. Kim


"If you and your spouse have different "love languages", how do you connect so that neither feels their language is being put second or ignored?

Dr. Kim:

This is a great question.  It is my experience that most spouses do have different love languages.  That is true with Nancy and I.  Hers is "quality time" and mine is "words of affirmation".  My role as her husband is to love her in a way that makes her feel loved.  If I give her words of affirmation, she will like that and she knows I am showing her love BUT it will not make her feel loved the way  spending quality time with her does.  

Our tendency is to love the way we want love.  I choose to love Nancy in the way she feels most loved.  Through prayer and following God's lead I can do this.  In our marriage, when I love Nancy the way she needs to be loved, it is much easier for her to love me in the way I need to be loved.

Commit together to love each other primarily with the love language each of you responds to the most.  As you live this out day after day, you will be on the way to your Awesome Marriage.