Sex in Marriage: Improving Sexual Intimacy - Suggestions for Men

Today is for the guys but I value the ladies feedback. What can a husband do to improve sexual intimacy? Here are some practical steps that I think will make a difference.

First “be romantic.” That comes easier for some of us than others. My Dad was a romantic so I had a good model. I knew it was important. I just had to figure our what Nancy thought was romantic. I really think the first step in improving this area of your marriage is talking to your wife. After all she is the one you are wanting to please.  Ask her what she likes. Ask her what she thinks is romantic. Her definition and yours may differ but you need to do the things that she likes. So be a student of your wife. Remember the things she likes. Remember what works and what does not work. You can do this. You can be romantic.

Second, “take time with foreplay.” We live in this instant gratification society and that can often spill over to the sexual relationship. Foreplay is what gives us time to prepare for the act of intercourse. It peaks our senses and it takes time. Over the course of your marriage sex will happen in a number of different ways, at different times, and slowly and quickly. Take the time to enjoy each other with foreplay.

Finally, “make yourself sexy.” The best idea here is to get input from your wife but there are some basics. Bathe, brush your teeth, shave, exercise, and wear cologne (let her pick it out). Our wives like us to look nice and to smell good. It will make a difference in her attraction to you.

Improving the sexual intimacy in your marriage takes time and effort but I promise you, the time and effort will be well worth it for the rewards you will receive.

Dr. Kim