Sex in Marriage: Improving Sexual Intimacy - Suggestions for Women

Today I want to talk to the wives about things you can do to improve the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

First, “understand your husband’s sexual needs.”  You husband is wired differently than you.  Most husbands think about sex more than their wives do and he thinks about you sexually a lot.  Remember that sex affirms him in your marriage.  The two most important things for a husband in the sexual relationship in marriage are that you are drawn to him and that he gives you pleasure.  So talk with him about what you like and do not like in the sexual relationship and be patient with him.  Look at is this way.  What if he was not attracted to you?  Would you like that?

Second, “find out what he really enjoys.” Do not be afraid to ask him this question.  You can always decline if it is something you are not comfortable with.  Do not forget that our bodies were made for us to enjoy.  (See entire book of Song of Solomon.)  They were a gift from God.  Do not be afraid to try new things and to find a common ground that meets both of your needs.

Finally, “make yourself sexy.” That is easy.  For most of your husbands,  all you need to do is keep breathing.  Also, find out what he likes as far as the clothes you wear and the perfume you use.  Probably, it just boils down to doing what you did before marriage.  If it worked then, it will most likely work now.

Bottom Line:  Make an effort.  Let him know you care about this area of marriage too.

Dr. Kim