Sex in Marriage: Improving Sexual Intimacy - Suggestions for Both

As we have covered ways for both the husband and the wife to improve the sexual intimacy in marriage, I want to conclude with ways you can work on this together.

First,  I think it is important for both of you to take the initiative sexually.  In most marriages the husband is the primary initiator for many of the reasons we mentioned earlier but it is really good for the wife to do this some of the time.  It gives her the opportunity to add her own creativity to the sexual relationship.  Ladies it also helps meet your husbands need to know that you desire the sexual relationship with him.  Guys, you also have to give her the opportunity to initiate!

Second, both need to take care of their appearance.  Remember how you would prepare yourself before a date early in your relationship.  Bring that into your marriage today.  Just be conscious of what you wear and how you look.

Third, take time to enjoy the sexual experience.  It is easy to get into ruts.  Keep it from being routine.  Make an effort to set aside more time to enjoy the sexual experience.

Fourth, pay attention to the atmosphere where you make love.  Take time for candles, baths together, music, soft lights, fireplaces, and massage.  Work together on the quality and quantity of the time you set aside for the sexual relationship.

Finally, express your desire to each other.  Say “I love you,” “I am crazy about you.” Talk about what you are thinking and feeling.  It adds to the excitement and helps us know more about what our spouse is experiencing.

Bottom Line: Set aside time to talk about what each of you want in this area of your marriage.

Dr. Kim