How To Keep Date Nights Engaging When You’ve Run Out of Things To Talk About
What advice do you have for keeping date nights engaging? We run out of things to talk about.
This is so normal it's not even funny! You're not the only couple who sits across from each other at dinner and thinks, "So... how about that weather?" After years of marriage, you've covered the basics about a thousand times, and daily life conversation tends to focus on logistics: who's picking up kids, what's for dinner, did you pay the electric bill.
The trick is coming prepared instead of hoping conversation will magically happen. I know that sounds unromantic, but think about it. You plan other parts of your date, why not plan some conversation starters too? Before you go out, each of you think of two or three things you want to talk about. Ask about dreams, childhood memories, hypothetical scenarios, or current thoughts on various topics.
Try new experiences together that give you immediate things to react to and discuss. Instead of always doing dinner and a movie, go mini golfing, take a cooking class, visit a farmers market, or even just explore a neighborhood you've never been to. Shared experiences create natural conversation because you're discovering things together in real time.
We have Date Design resources at Awesome Marriage that include conversation guides with creative questions specifically designed to help couples rediscover each other. Sometimes having that structure takes the pressure off and helps you get into deeper topics that don't usually come up when you're talking about who needs to take the car in for an oil change.
Remember, the goal isn't to have perfect conversation every time. It's to continue getting to know each other as you both grow and change. Sometimes you'll have amazing talks, sometimes it'll feel awkward, and that's all normal and okay.
Practical Ideas:
Come prepared with conversation starters instead of hoping they'll happen naturally.
Ask about dreams, goals, childhood memories, and hypothetical scenarios.
Try new activities that naturally generate discussion and reactions.
Take turns sharing highlights and challenges from your individual lives.
Use conversation guides or resources to help structure deeper discussions.
Play games that encourage sharing and discovery about each other.
Key Takeaways:
Running out of conversation is incredibly common in long term marriages.
Preparation and intentionality help create more meaningful discussions.
New experiences provide natural conversation starters.
The goal is continued discovery, not perfect conversation every time.
Resources and guides can provide helpful structure when you're stuck.
I’d love to help you with the great conversation starters! Use my free Creative Questions To Ask Your Spouse printable.
Another great free way to keep date nights exciting is to use Awesome Marriage’s free Creative Date Design Printables. These are fully planned creative dates all mapped out for you!