How to Make Watching a Show Together Matter
Do you think watching a show or a movie counts as quality time? Why or why not?
This is such a great question because I think a lot of couples use TV time as a substitute for real connection without realizing it. Here's my take: watching shows together can absolutely be quality time, but it depends on how you're doing it and what else you're building into your relationship.
If you're both scrolling your phones while Netflix plays in the background, or if you're using screen time to avoid having real conversations, then no…that's not quality time. That's just existing in the same space. But if you're genuinely enjoying something together, discussing what you're watching, laughing together, or even using shows as conversation starters about life and values, then it can absolutely strengthen your connection.
Nancy and I have shows we watch together, and we'll pause to talk about what's happening or share our reactions. Sometimes a character's decision will spark a conversation about our own marriage or family. We've learned things about each other through discussing what we're watching. But this only works because we also have plenty of other ways we connect with face to face conversations, activities together, physical affection, and shared experiences.
The key is balance and intentionality. If screen time is your primary way of spending time together, that's a problem. But if it's one of several ways you enjoy each other's company, it can be a wonderful part of your relationship. Think about what you're trying to accomplish. Sometimes you need to decompress together, and a good show is perfect for that. Other times you need deeper connection, and you'll need something more interactive.
Ways to Make Screen Time More Connecting:
Choose shows you both actually enjoy instead of defaulting to whatever's on.
Put phones away and engage with what you're watching.
Discuss characters, plot points, and how the show relates to real life.
Take turns picking what to watch so both people feel heard.
Use entertainment as a springboard for deeper conversations.
Balance screen time with other types of quality time together.
Key Takeaways:
Screen time can be quality time when approached intentionally.
It works best as one of several ways you connect, not the only way.
Engagement and discussion make the difference between connection and parallel play.
Balance is key…variety in how you spend time together strengthens marriages.
The goal is enjoying each other's company and building connection.
If you are worried that you aren’t connected enough as a couple, take my free 4 Week Couple’s Connection Challenge today!