Being Single - Part 6

How have past relationships affected you?  Were there things that you learned that will help you in future relationships?  How did your past relationships end?  Do you hold things the people in your past? Often, we let past relationships bleed over into new relationships.  This can cause a lot of problems.  If you are still hanging on to the hurts of a past relationship, maybe it is time to do something about it and that may involve forgiving the other person.

People ask me all the time how to forgive someone.  It is not easy.  We seldom feel like doing it. But the bottom line is that until we forgive, we are still tied to that other person and are still giving them power in our life.

Two points about forgiveness.  First, forgiving someone is a decision.  I must make the choice to forgive.  It does not matter if they have asked for my forgiveness or if I feel they deserve it.  God tells us to forgive.  Second, forgiveness is often a process.  It may take time depending on how deep the hurt is.  Stay focused and committed and you will get there. Remember if you are going to build a new healthy relationship, you have to finish up the unfinished business of the old ones.

What is hard for you about forgiving someone who has hurt you?

Dr. Kim