3 Things A Counselor Needs to Believe To Help Your Marriage
Last time we looked at Christian counseling, which is something I believe every single couple can benefit from. And, yes, Nancy and I have been to counseling. In the last blog we talked about the practical steps to get you to that first appointment. Today let’s look at three things your counselor needs to believe to help your marriage.
First, they need to be a Christian. That’s not just a label. It means that they seek God’s wisdom for their own life and in helping others. As a counselor, I pray for God’s will in people’s lives. I never want to get in the way of what God is doing. God has a plan for every person and every marriage. Every marriage is unique. There is no template of marriage counseling that fits every couple. Sure, there can be similarities in problems and issues, but they all play out in a unique way. Don’t be afraid to ask your counselor about their personal beliefs and how those impact their approach to counseling. Ask anything else that would help you. In my practice, I want people to feel very comfortable with me as their counselor.
Second, they need to see divorce as an absolute last option. Yes, there are reasons for divorce but I have also seen God literally work miracles is some of the absolute worst marriage situations. When a couple considering divorce comes to me, I ask by the end of the first counseling session how committed they are to healing their marriage. Why? There are answers to every marriage situation but one cannot heal a marriage alone. It takes two. I want them to have hope. I want them to know that nothing is too big for God. I want them to take divorce off the table and see what God can do but I have to know if they are all in or not!
Third, they need to believe in the power of prayer. Honestly, I could not, and would not, do what I do without prayer. I pray for and with the people I see. In marriage counseling, I ask couples to pray for their marriage and God’s wisdom as a husband and a wife. I pray for God to guide me as their counselor. God made each of us and He created marriage. He knows us better than anyone else knows us.God does not need our prayers but He wants us to pray. He has the answers for us and for our marriage that no one else has. A number of the couples I see for counseling need a miracle. It just makes sense to go to the Miracle Worker.
I believe all three are essential things for a Christian counselor to believe.
Are they a Christian?
Do they see divorce as an absolute last option?
Do they believe in the power of prayer?
Three things that are so simple, yet so important!