Wrestling With Valentine’s Day
This week in the Dispatch:
Valentine’s Day Fun Facts in Quick Hits!
Three Wise Men in Books!
A YouVersion plan on “Romance”
A New Awesome Marriage Podcast Next Tuesday
A New Better Man Podcast Today
“Wrestling With Valentine’s Day” In Insights
A Challenge For You and A Big Next Step
This Week’s Quick Hits:
WARNING! Guys, Valentine's Day is Sunday! From the voice of experience, I’ll say that the selection of cards, flowers, candy, and places to get dinner reservations is shrinking by the minute.
Here are a few Valentine’s Day Fun Facts:
Worldwide, over 50 million roses are given for Valentine's Day each year
In Medieval times, girls ate bizarre foods on Valentine's Day to make them dream of their future husband!
Richard Cadbury invented the first Valentine’s Day candy box in the late 1800s
There are an average of 220,000 wedding proposals on Valentine's Day each year!
The oldest known Valentine’s Day card is on display at the British Museum in London, dating back to the 1400’s
In the United States, 64% of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts! (See WARNING above!!)
Book:
This is an amazing true story, told by Beau, a Marine and the sole survivor of three brothers. Shortly after the 9/11 attacks, these three brothers enlisted to fight for their country. Jeremy, a US Navy Seal serving in Afghanistan, was killed in an al Queda suicide bombing. Ben was a US Army Green Beret sniper, and was killed in a firefight with the Taliban. This is a story of family, love, and dedication. Of the six or so books I have read so far in 2021, all were good, but this one ranks number 1.
YouVersion Plan:
This week’s recommended YouVersion plan fits the season: a 4-day plan on Romance. Romance is something that we all seem to want. Girls dream that Prince Charming will come into their life and whisk them off to “happily ever after.” Boys want to be the strong man who sweeps his woman off her feet. We seem to have a good idea of the end result that we want, we just don’t know how to get there. In this plan, we look at romance, knowing that it is a part of God’s incredible plan for our marriages.
Podcasts:
Awesome Marriage Podcast
Next Tuesday on the Awesome Marriage podcast Christina and I will talk about “How To Handle ‘Me Time.’” One major pain point in marriages, especially those with young children, is how to handle “me time.” In this podcast, we want to talk about “me time” and give you some practical tips on how to navigate this in a way that builds up your marriage.
A Better Man Podcast
Today the latest episode of A Better Man Podcast drops as Colby Taylor and I discuss “Spiritual Growth.” What does that mean? Will it make my life better? And how do I do it? Don’t miss this one!
Insights
Wrestling With Valentine’s Day
I wrestled with what to write this week and I really did not want to address Valentine’s Day, but that's where I landed. In elementary school, Valentine's Day was a big deal. We decorated boxes or little bags to put on our desks for classmates to put Valentines in. We had a Valentine's party in the afternoon, which was awesome - no school work, punch, and cookies. Looking back, the really cool thing was that everyone got a Valentine - that was the classroom rule!
In middle school, Valentine’s Day was not a big deal for me. I didn’t have a girlfriend and kinda liked spending my money on me! In high school, my plan was that if I was dating someone, I would break up with her before Valentine’s Day so I did not have to get her a gift. Honestly, I think the breakup was because I had no idea what to get a girl so it was easier to just back out of celebrating. Things changed my junior year in college. Nancy had I had our first date (a blind date) around Valentine’s Day. Needless to say, I have celebrated it with her every year since.
In my early years of counseling I realized how hard Valentine’s Day is for so many people. Some had been in a relationship that had recently ended. Others were praying for a mate but found themselves alone once again on Valentine’s Day. Then there were those who were married or in a relationship, but it was not at all what they dreamed of. For them, Valentine’s Day seemed like a sham. So many people I talked to dreaded or hated Valentine’s Day. That was a wakeup call for me.
The truth is that in our culture, you cannot avoid it. It is a commercial windfall and is not going away. If we are attached to someone in any way at all, we feel we have to celebrate. If not, we want to hide.
I wish we could go back to the grade school celebrations when everyone got a Valentine, but we can’t. I think the answer may lie in reframing it:
If you were in a relationship that recently ended, give yourself time to grieve and heal. This Valentine’s Day, focus on your future and what God has for you. Think about what you learned from that past relationship and how that will help you as you move forward.
If you are single and don’t want to be single, I hurt with you. I have never been in your shoes but I have talked to many that have. This may be the most difficult place to be. You may wonder, “God, are you hearing my prayer?” “God, have you left me?” “Am I not good enough?” “Am I being punished?” I would answer that God does hear your prayers; God never leaves us or abandons us; You were made perfectly; and God is not punishing you. Do not entertain or believe these lies of the enemy. God knows the desires of your heart. Someday, you will be able to see everything clearly. So for now, celebrate a God that is good and the hope He gives you.
If you are in a marriage that gives you no motivation or reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day, that is a big red flag. That red flag means it is time for things to change. Work on your marriage. Take advantage of all the resources we have at Awesome Marriage. Go to counseling. Let your goal be that when Valentine’s Day 2022 comes, the two of you will really have something to celebrate.
Finally, if you are in the Awesome Marriage that you always wanted and dreamed of, celebrate! Celebrate your marriage and thank God for His blessings!
Challenge:
How did you view Valentine’s Day growing up?
How has that affected the way you look at Valentine’s Day now?
Next Step:
Dr. Kim defined four categories that people may find themselves on Valentine’s Day. Which one do you fit into? Define your next step and begin taking it today!
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