Do You Fight Fair?
BREAKING NEWS: Thank you to the over 25,000 people subscribed to the Dispatch. I appreciate each of you. I am going to take a break for the month of August so this is your last Dispatch for a few weeks. The Breaking News is that through your input The Dispatch will have a new look with more of what you like when it comes back.
This week in the Dispatch:
Quick Hits: Tech Timeline, Did you Know?, and By the Way
Blindside author Michael Lewis’s latest!
4 Days to becoming a Better Man
Special Guests on the Awesome Marriage Podcast
This week’s Vlog looks at “Distance”
Insights: “Fighting Fair”
Next Steps and a Challenge to help you fight right!
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Technology changes almost daily. Here is a look back:
Sony Computer Entertainment released the PlayStation 4 on November 15, 2013. It became the second best-selling home video game console of all time, with the first being its predecessor, the PlayStation 2.
On March 1, 2015, SanDisk revealed the world’s first-ever 200GB microSD card.
On June 20, 2016, China showed the Sunway TaihuLight, which is deemed to be the world’s fastest supercomputer because of its ability to reach 125 petaflops.
On November 28, 2017, Facebook started utilizing artificial intelligence to find out users that are at risk for suicide by analyzing their posts, shares, and photos.
In 2019, a company owned by Google called Alphabet, Inc. announced that it would begin manufacturing autonomous vehicles in a mass-production state. These autonomous vehicles wouldn’t need drivers to be controlled, and although this feature seems unsafe at first glance, it is actually safer than having a human driver that is prone to being dizzy, drowsy, or drunk.
Did you know?
More human twins are being born now than ever before. The "twinning rate" has increased by one-third since the '80s—up from 9 to 12 twins per 1,000 deliveries.
The moon has moonquakes. They are less common and less intense than the shakes that happen here; moonquakes are believed by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) scientists to occur due to tidal stresses connected to the distance between the Earth and the moon.
By the way: Today is “National Chicken Wing Day.” Enjoy!
Read:
The Premonition: A Pandemic Story by Michael Lewis
What does a 13-year-old girl’s science project on airborne pathogen transmission, a public-health officer who sees what the CDC is missing, and a secret team of dissenting doctors with everything necessary to fight the pandemic, have in common? They all play a part in the story of what was not done during the pandemic. This book gives us a mostly non-partisan look behind the curtain before and during the Covid 19 pandemic. Michael Lewis, who gave us The Blind Side, Moneyball, and The Big Short, gives us another non-fiction book that reads like a fiction thriller.
YouVersion Plan:
Colby Taylor, my co-host of The Better Man Podcast, wrote this incredible plan. We all want to be better men but we find barriers that keep us from getting there. This plan will give you practical steps to take to become the man God created you to be.
Listen:
Awesome Marriage Podcast: “Making the Most of Your Differences.”
I am excited to welcome Jay and Breona Wanshington as my special guests this week. Jay is an introvert and Bre an extrovert. We talk about how these two different personalities can actually strengthen and grow a marriage.
Also, don’t miss my interview with Bob Goff coming up on the Podcast August 31!
Watch:
Are you and your spouse separated by physical distance? Maybe one of you is deployed or traveling for work. What can you do to bridge that distance to help you two still feel connected? I will share some practical ways you can do this.
Insights:
Fight Fair
Most couples do not know how to fight fair. They have never seen it modeled. When we fight, we become selfish and battle to get our way. Arguments have a tendency to escalate and can get totally out of hand. It is interesting that in counseling, couples often relate their battles to me. Many times they can’t even remember what started the fight, but they can remember all the hurtful things that were said.
In the Bible, James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” This really sums it up. If I really listen to what Nancy is saying to me, and then I think things through (preferably prayerfully) before I say anything back to her, and finally if I control my anger, I honestly do not think we would ever fight. Sure we will disagree and have differences, but we never have to really fight.
One tool I use to help me live out James 1:19 is “STOP-LOOK-LISTEN.” It is really quite simple.
STOP: When you are talking to your spouse, get rid of all distractions. That means close your computer, disconnect from all mobile devices, turn the TV off; put the book down; turn off the video game.
LOOK: Turn and face each other so you can look into each other’s eyes. This helps keep you from being distracted.
LISTEN: Really focus on what they are saying. Then say it back to them in your own words to make sure you understand.
I find in our marriage that when we go through these steps, we usually understand each other better, and understanding can solve problems and issues in your marriage.
Fighting fair strengthens marriages. If this is an area you struggle in, I encourage you to begin today to take steps to fight fair.
Next Steps:
Memorize James 1:19. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
Ask God to help you to be consistent with each of these.
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