The Hot Seat with Dr. Kim

When Nancy and I were in Albany and Ft. Worth this fall doing Awesome Marriage events, we gave participants a chance to put us on the "hot seat" and fire quetions at us.  Over the next few weeks, I will be answering some of those questions.

Dr. Kim

Question: "How can I start to communicate with my wife more? How can I open up more with her?

This is a great question and a topic that most men deal with at least sometime in their marriage.  First, our wives are very relational and they want to connect with their husbands.  You have taken a big  first step by expressing your desire to communicate better with your wife.  Here are some guidelines that will help:

1. Let her know that you want to communicate better and ask her to pray for you as you do this.

2. Find times each day to sit down together when you will not be interrupted.  It does not have to be an hour but shoot for at least 10 - 15 minutes.  

3. In my opinion the best communicators are good listeners. When your wife is talking focus on what she is saying.  Repeat back to her in your own words what you heard her say.  This is huge because it shows effort and care.

4.  Pray for God to help you take the risks to open up to your wife.  Take it a step at a time but keep persevering.

5.  If you set aside the time and embrace the opportunity, your communication will improve and your marriage will too!