"Singles Q & A" with Dr. Kim

Question: "I keep choosing the wrong person.  They all seem nice at first but then as we date I know they are not right for me. Help!

Dr. Kim: Sometimes it is difficult for us to break patterns.  We do the same thing over and over and expect different results.  If you want a different outcome, you need to change the way you are approaching dating.  

Here are some bullet points for you to consider:

  • Prayerfully make a checklist of all the things that are important to you in a future mate.

  • Next go over your list and mark with an "E" everything on your list that is essential - no compromise. For example, the person needs to be a Christ follower.

  • Then put an "F" by all the things on your list that you could be flexible with.  For example, you may have brown hair on your list but could be okay if the person had a different hair color.

  • Then do not even go on a "first date" with someone who does not meet all of your essentials.

If you are faithful to you list, I promise you will break the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

Dr. Kim

If you have a question for Dr. Kim, send it to drkim@iwantanawesomemarriage.com