Sharing Responsibility in Decision Making

Before we were married, Nancy and I never talked about decision making. We never sat down and decided who would do what. It wasn’t that we avoided the conversation, it just never crossed our minds. Looking back, we agree that both of us just assumed we would make decisions like our parents did. Our families of origin were our textbook or our Google! We were a disaster waiting to happen, and it did.

I don’t remember the specifics, but our versions of Google did not match up on the decision. We discovered that we needed a plan and we did not have one. We had done pretty well in the day-to-day activities of life. Nancy made the decisions in the areas she took charge of and I did the same with mine. The big decisions were where we needed to figure things out.

Our plan then and now goes like this. When we have to make a decision that affects us both, we begin by praying about it. Then we discuss, and listen to each other’s perspective. By the time we finish this process, we are usually on the same page and make the decision.

Recently we made the decision to sell the home we were living in and build a smaller home. Nancy was ahead of me on this. She felt the need to downsize almost a year before I was ready, but she didn’t push. We prayed. I listened and she waited on me. As we looked at options, nothing seemed right to either of us. Then one afternoon, we drove into a neighborhood, looked at a few model homes and drove out, both thinking, “This is a place we could live.” We got more information, continued to pray and made the decision to move. I think the key for us in making big decisions is to not get impatient with each other and to give God time to guide us. When we do this, God always seems to get us on the same page.