Making Major Life Decisions

As we talked about last week, moving from one place to another is a major life decision. There are many others that a couple will face over the years of a marriage. The decisions that seem to cause the most conflict are either financial or involve their children. I think what happens a lot is that each person has their own perspective and if their spouse’s perspective differs, they are unwilling or reluctant to listen.

Allison and Gage had been married about three years. They thought they were doing pretty well with decision making. There were a couple of bumps but overall things were pretty smooth.  They were both driving really old cars and they were beginning to spend a lot on car repairs.  They agreed it was time for a change. With Gage’s new job, he was able to use public transportation to and from work and they decided that for now, having just one car was a good idea. Plus, they could get one nicer car instead of two not-as-nice cars.

Up to this point they were totally on the same page. As they sat down one evening to talk about cars, things began to unravel. Allison wanted a new car - as in a never driven by anyone ever car. Gage wanted to get a nice pre-owned car. They never realized before that their definitions of getting a “new car” were completely different. Not only did they find themselves on different pages but also different car lots! Allison’s new car was close to a top of the line brand and Gage’s used car was a middle of the road brand, at best. I think a lot of things happened here for Allison and Gage. First, they realized as much as they thought they were alike, there were some real differences. Second, they had to come up with a plan to resolve those differences and make a decision while not just keeping their marriage intact, but good.

Most of us relate to Allison and Gage at some level. We have all been in a situation where we did not see eye to eye and have been a little, or a lot, taken aback by our spouse’s response.  When those times come, we need to listen to each other. Write down our options. Pray and then compromise so there is a win/win for your marriage. You probably are wondering what car Allison and Gage bought. It was the one that they agreed on!