Sex in Marriage: Differences



Obviously there are lots of differences in men and women starting with our anatomies.  Our body differences are perfectly designed for maximum enjoyment in our sexual relationships.  But what about the way we look at sex and what we want out of sex in our marriages.

A long time ago, I heard this comment.  “Women give sex to get intimacy and Men give intimacy to get sex.”  On the surface that is pretty crass.  Yet there is a lot of truth in the statement.  Women were created to be nurturers.  They usually have a deeper understanding of what goes into intimacy in a marriage.  Men on the other hand were created very visual and become sexually excited very easily.  These differences can either drive us apart sexually in marriage or if we embrace them, can bring us great satisfaction.

If Nancy was not the way she is I would never have learned the pleasures of just cuddling, holding hands, and touching in non-sexual ways.  As husbands, there is a lot we can learn from our wives in the area of intimacy that enriches our sexual relationship.

As guys, sex is on our minds a lot.  Most of us think that we could never have too much of it.  Our first attraction to our wife, maybe before we even knew her name, was visual.  It played an important part in the beginnings of our relationship and continues throughout marriage.

So like in many other areas of marriage, we need to embrace these differences.  When we do and we learn from each other, it takes our sexual relationship in marriage to a whole new level.

How are you handling the differences in your marriage?  Are you embracing them?  Are you trying to change your spouse to be like you?  Are you ready to begin embracing your differences and seeing them as a gift from God?  You see, if we were exactly alike, it would not only be boring but we would never be challenged to grow.  God’s design is perfect.  WIll you embrace it or reject it?

Dr. Kim