Sex in Marriage: Baggage - Day 1



Great sex in our marriage relationships is something all of us want.  Going into marriage we often have high expectations that this area of marriage will bring us a lot of fulfillment.  We see sex portrayed in the movies and on television.  It dominates the covers of many magazines.  There are lots of “self-proclaimed” experts who seem to have it all together in this area and offer their words of wisdom.  So it seems that a good sexual relationship in marriage would be a ‘slam dunk’.  Yet for many it is not.  Why?

First, very few of us come into marriage with a healthy, unscarred attitude about sex.  We all bring in sexual baggage.  It comes from a variety of sources.  Our thinking is influenced by our culture.  We often put a lot of credibility in these sources.  The problem is most of the time they are way off in what they communicate to us about sex in marriage.  They all usually tell us that men and women have the same attitude about sex and the same desires.  That is simply not true.  That is not the way we were created.

Others of us have had sexual contact that has damaged us and our outlook of sex in marriage.  Sexual abuse, pornography, promiscuity, sexual addictions and premarital sex can have a devastating affect on us.

Be honest with yourself about the sexual baggage you will bring or have brought into marriage.  Ask yourself these questions: Have you dealt with it?  If not, are you ready to take that step now? You may need the help of a counselor of pastor but commit to do whatever it takes to deal with your sexual baggage.  There is an answer.  You can overcome the past.  You can ‘check’ your sexual baggage and begin the process of creating a great sexual relationship in your marriage.

Dr. Kim