Remaining Faithful Part 5 - Saving a Marriage

Saving a Marriage

If someone came to me after an affair and asked me for the steps to save their marriage, this is what I would tell them.

  • First, remorse. Your remorse has to be from the depths of your soul. It will never work if your remorse is because you got caught.

  • All contact with the other person must be cut off. If you work with that person, somebody needs to change jobs.

  • Be accountable. Your spouse needs to know where you are and what you are doing all the time. How long do you do this? If you ask this question, you are doomed. The statement is, “I will do this forever if it will save my marriage.” Then do it.

  • Talk. Answer every question. Be totally honest.

  • Get someone to be accountable to besides your spouse.

Now a couple of thoughts for the spouse that was cheated on.

  • No matter how bad a husband or a wife you were that never justifies a spouse having an affair. But you need to honestly look at your life as a spouse and see what, with God’s help, you need to change.

  • Be careful when you are asking questions. Sometimes too much information can be overload. You know what happened. How many details do you really need to know.

To both of you: You will need help.  Find a pastor or a Christian counselor that can help you along the way.

Okay, Tribe, share your thoughts.

Dr. Kim


Has your marriage has been affected by infidelity? We believe deeply that you can heal from it, and even build a better marriage than you ever had before! We want to help you heal which is why we’ve created
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Here are the topics covered in the Online Affair Recovery Course:

  • Stages of Grief & How To Manage the Pain by Cindy Beall

  • Forgiveness is An Alone Game, But Reconciliation Takes 2 by Jami & Mark Nato

  • Common Mistakes in Affair Recovery and How to Avoid Them by Linda MacDonald

  • Learning to Trust Your Spouse After Infidelity by Stephanie & Tim Broersma

  • How to Tell Your Kids and Navigating Those Waters by Rick Bulman

  • The Agony and The Ecstasy of Sexual Intimacy After an Affair by Stephen Arterburn

  • First Steps To Healing From Porn Discovery by Bonny Burns

  • Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage Moving Forward by Dr. Kim Kimberling

  • Understanding the Heart of Marriage After an Affair, Divorce and a Restored Marriage by Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs

  • Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal by Stephanie Broersma

  • FAQ: Answering Your Specific Questions by Dr. Kim Kimberling

  • You’re Not Done Yet by Dr. Kim Kimberling

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