Remaining Faithful Part 4 - Baby Steps

Baby Steps

Can a marriage survive an affair? How do we get into affairs in the first place? What are the warning signs?

My experience is that most marriages do not survive an affair. Trust is one of those things that we often take for granted when we have it.  When it is broken, the rebuilding process is difficult, long, and frustrating. Affairs are an interesting oddity. Most of us know that they are devastating. Some of grew up in homes where there was infidelity.  We know the pain firsthand while others know someone who has been through this.

Among all people I have talked with, not one has ever said that they walked out the door one morning and said, “Today, I think I will have an affair.”  No one I know ever stood at the altar and pledged their life to their mate with the thought in the back of their minds that one day I will jack this up good by having an affair.  No, affairs start out with baby steps. A glance that lingers.  Conversations that get too personal.  Business lunches that turn into more.  Someone that pays attention to you or that understands you.  Baby step after baby step after baby step.  Red flags begin popping up everywhere but we ignore them and finally it is too late.

What are some of the baby steps that can lead us into an affair?

Dr. Kim


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