I'm not happy, but my spouse says everything is fine. How do I get them to work on our marriage?

When one spouse thinks everything is fine while the other is unhappy, it usually indicates a significant disconnect in communication and emotional awareness. Your spouse may genuinely not realize there are problems, or they may be avoiding difficult conversations because they don't know how to handle them.

Start by having specific, clear conversations about what's making you unhappy rather than general statements about the marriage not working. Use "I" statements to describe your experience and needs rather than accusations about what your spouse is or isn't doing. If they continue to dismiss your concerns, consider involving a neutral third party like a counselor.

Communication Strategies:

• Be specific about what's making you unhappy rather than speaking in generalities.

• Use "I" statements to describe your experience rather than accusations.

• Avoid broad criticisms and focus on specific behaviors or patterns.

• Suggest concrete changes or improvements you'd like to see.

• Consider couples counseling if they won't engage in honest conversation.

• Set boundaries about what you need to feel valued and heard in the marriage.

Key Takeaways:

• Specificity is more helpful than general complaints about the marriage.

• Some people genuinely don't recognize problems that seem obvious to others.

• Professional help can provide neutral ground for difficult conversations.

• You can't force someone to care, but you can clearly communicate your needs.