God’s Blueprint for Love

You have heard this next part before. Most of you have heard it a number of times. Most of us will hear it again. For me, it’s one of those things that I have heard so often that I tune it out without even knowing it. Yet, if you are looking for a blueprint for love in your marriage, this is it. 

Don’t skip over this. Don’t say to yourself, “I’ve heard all this before. Why is he taking up good space with this?” Bear with me and I promise to give you a new look at this.  

If you were betting on what I think God’s blueprint for love is, what would you bet on? The odds would weigh heavy on 1 Corinthians 13. If you placed your bet there, you would have won but probably not much. It’s not like it was a long shot! 

What’s the new look I promised? It’s simply this. Instead of reading the word “love” as it repeats in the passage, I want you to put your name in its place. 

Here is what it looks like with my name in verses 4-7 in The Message translation.. .

4 Kim never gives up. Kim cares more for others than for himself. Kim doesn't want what he doesn't have. Kim doesn't strut, Kim doesn't have a swelled head, 5 Kim doesn't force himself on others, Kim Isn't always "me first," Kim doesn't fly off the handle, Kim doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6 Kim doesn't revel when others grovel, Kim takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Kim puts up with anything, Kim trusts God always, Kim always looks for the best, Kim never looks back, But keeps going to the end. 

I know, it’s a tall order. It also humbles me and hits me right between the eyes with my failures.  Yet, it is my standard. It’s the blueprint that God laid out before me and you. I will never attain that standard but I will keep trying. With God’s help and my perseverance, I can get a little bit closer every day. I never want to lower the standard so I can attain it. 

For me, I like it out of my reach. I like the small victories that I can shoot for each day. I like that I can learn from my mistakes when I fall short. I like that God has given me a map that leads to an awesome marriage.

Overtime With Nancy:

Kim: Since God is love, how do we see love as the foundation of our marriage? How do we express it at its deepest and most intimate level?

Nancy: It’s mainly all of the things we’ve talked about. The way we communicate. The example to our kids and to the world. Having a sure foundation. 

Kim: As we’ve learned more about how God loves us, and been able to accept that in our own lives and in our marriage, I think we’ve tried to convey that to each other. It’s kind of like God’s love is such an integral part of our marriage, so we want to love each other the way God loves us. It’s hard sometimes. The unconditional part of it is not always easy. But I think we’ve learned a lot about the sacrificial part of it, and learning to set “self” aside for each other. 

Nancy: Yes. You know it says in the Bible we’re to have the same attitude as Christ, which means servanthood. I think that springs from having God as our foundation. It’s all about attitude. 

Kim: So how do we express love at its deepest and most intimate? 

Nancy: I think through the “mingling of souls” that we talk about.  I also feel an expression of love with you when we’re worshipping together. 

Kim: I think where I see it a lot is when we’re not even saying words, but we’re together and express that love. 

Nancy: I think that’s true. I experience a sensation of love with you without saying a word. 

Kim: Sometimes we just look at each other, or touch each other. 

Nancy: Our conversations, our laughter, just living together. 

Kim: I’m glad you brought up laughter. I think having fun together is a really intimate way we connect. We laugh at the same things, usually. You don’t always like my jokes, but most of them. Then I think continuing to work to enjoy the physical relationship, and as you’ve said, the “mingling of souls.” I think that's the ultimate that we experience, when our souls mingle. 

For You:

Love is what it is all about. It is both the emotion and the actions. Love is the foundation of marriage. Without the foundation of love, a marriage is built on shifting sand. 

God is love and our relationship with Him is based on His undeserved love for us and our response to Him. Our relationship in marriage is to mirror Christ’s relationship with the church. 

Again, it is all about love. Love at its deepest and most intimate level. 

• What will you do today to express love to your spouse?