Question: "How does one get over infidelity and move on with the same person?"
Dr. Kim: It is a difficult process. Here are some things I have seen couples do that have made in in their marriage after infidelity.
- A true repentance by the spouse who went outside of the marriage.
- Complete breaking of all ties with the other person.
- A willingness to forgive by the offended spouse.
- A willingness to grieve through what was lost in the marriage.
- Looking together at the marriage to see what needs to be changed to build a marriage that you both can value.
- A true willingness by the spouse that had the infidelity to do every thing they can do to rebuild trust.
- A willingness for both of you to give it time - a lot of time.
- The help of a third party - a counselor or pastor skilled in this area.
Of course, that is not a foolproof plan but it will get you started in the right direction. I do believe marriages that suffer infidelity can be healed if both will work very hard at it and you allow God to heal you both.