The Body of Christ Is No Place For Pretending
By Lindsay Few
“The church, unfortunately, is really good at shooting their wounded.” - Rick Bulman
This heartrending quote from a recent Awesome Marriage podcast rings all too true. Church can feel like one big dysfunctional family, and the more adult life I’ve lived, the more I see it.
Families are together by default. Church is a chosen family, of sorts. In church, as in a family, if we cannot forgive, we cannot function. James 5:16 tells us: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
The healing power of an honest confession may not always be immediately evident. In the podcast episode “Mended: One Couple’s Journey From Betrayal To Imperfect Beauty,” Rick and Tiffany Bulman talked about the affair that rocked - but did not wreck - their marriage. In their story, honest confession brought rescue and hope to their marriage. There was no chance of moving forward without repentance and forgiveness. But confession before their church did not bring immediate healing - it was met with hostility and judgement.
Rick & Tiffany Bulman encourage couples who are healing from infidelity: Don’t try to go it alone; seek help. There are too many stories of someone trying to privately clean things up and move on before anyone finds out. Sin thrives in the dark, but confession is a weighty weapon against loneliness, isolation, and anxiety. James 5 is clear: Confession brings healing!
Tiffany tells a story of someone in their church who was gracious and kind; who extended healing grace in a hard season. Grace to illuminate a dark situation. The body of Christ is no place for pretending we have it all together. When we need help, we need to learn to admit it - for the sake of our own soul. When we are faced with a confession that things aren’t ok; that someone has failed or needs help, what will we do? Will we “shoot the wounded,” or will we reach out and share the grace God has poured out on us?
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This is a guest post by Lindsay Few. Lindsay is content editor and admin assistant at Awesome Marriage. More of her writing can be found here. She lives on the sunny coast of NC with her husband, Brian, church-planting pastor of Live Oak Church, their four wild and wonderful kids, one dog and one cat. The Fews love to spend time on the beach, playing music, and gathering at the dinner table with family and friends.
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