You May Need To Reframe Your Marriage
This week in the Dispatch:
May questions, holidays, and facts
“You are What You Risk” in Books
A Man Just Like Me in YV
Seeing Your Spouse’s Value on the AM Podcast
Reframing Marriage in Insights
This Week’s Quick Hits:
How Well Do You Know “May”?
What is the birthstone for May?
What famous race takes place on the second Saturday of May (first Saturday this year) in the USA every year?
Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Mexican victory over which country in 1862?
What world famous film series is celebrated every year on May 4th?
What international film festival awards the Palme d’Or every May?
Three May Holidays Not to Forget
May 10 - National Clean Your Room Day
May 11 - National Twilight Zone Day
May 20 - National Be a Millionaire Day
(Don’t forget Mother’s day on May 9th)
Three May Facts
Many famous people were born in May, such as Mark Zuckerberg, Karl Marx, Clint Eastwood, Wes Anderson, John F. Kennedy, Queen Victoria, and Catherine the Great!
May is a pretty good month for US presidents. Every other month of the year, at least one US president has died, but never in May!
May is the month that the Eurovision song contest is held every year. For those not in the know, Eurovision is an international song contest that has been held every year since 1956. Some of the contest winners over the years have gone on to be incredibly successful groups, with the most notable being ABBA!
Read, Listen, Watch
Book:
You Are What You Risk by Michele Wucker
Risk is an interesting topic and each of us has our own view of how we handle it. Our view is influenced by our culture, our values, the people we know and, interestingly, the last food we ate. Why would a 63 year old woman decide to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Why are some nations quicker than others to recognize and manage risks like pandemics and technological change? Michele Wucker answers these and many other questions and helps us understand our “risk fingerprint” and our “risk personality.”
YouVersion Plan:
This is truly one of my favorite plans that I have written. I love the stories of the life of Elijah and how God worked through him. As awesome as Elijah was, he was a man just like you and me. God had a plan for him and he has one for you. Join me in this three day plan and connect with God in ways that you probably never have before.
Podcast:
Awesome Marriage Podcast: Seeing Your Spouse’s Value / Ep. 467
In this week’s episode, Christina and I look at how to see and acknowledge your spouse’s value. Noticing and verbalizing these things are a big part of having an Awesome Marriage.
Insights:
You May Need To Reframe Your Marriage
There are downsides to being a counselor. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love what I do but sometimes I know too much. While scrolling through social media today I saw a number of posts of couples celebrating birthdays, anniversaries or something special. I read captions like,”To the Absolute Best Husband in the World,” or “Happy Anniversary. I would not want to do life with anyone else.” You get it. You see the posts all the time. But since I “know too much,” I know both of those marriages are hanging on by a thread.
It seems that no matter what goes on behind closed doors in our marriages, we want the world to see a highlight reel. It’s like the recent study that says married couples say they have more sex than they do. I think we also tend to say our marriages are better than they are. We want to look good to the world.
Marriage takes a lot of hits. Again this year there will be more divorces than marriages. More couples than ever will divorce before their first anniversary. Our culture does not value marriage as it once did. Couples tend to opt out of their marriage instead of hanging in and trying to get back on the right track. Yet, with all of the above, I firmly believe marriage is still God’s ultimate plan for relationships.
No one ever said marriage would be easy. Jesus even told us that we would have trouble in the world. He also told us that He has overcome the world. In other words, marriage may be tough but God will do everything that we allow Him to do to give us the marriage He designed uniquely for each couple.
There has been some very interesting research over the past twenty years or so studying the benefits of healthy marriages. Unfortunately, these studies don’t get the press they deserve. It seems good and healthy does not sell well.
So from the list of “20 Benefits of Healthy Relationships,* here are my top 10:
10. Become a better version of yourself
9. A greater sense of purpose and meaning
8. Opportunities for growth
7. Lower anxiety and depression
6. Higher self-esteem
5. Emotional support
4. Shared experiences
3. Quicker healing
2. Longer life
1. Better physical health
We need to reframe marriage. You may need to reframe your marriage. If I asked you to give me three words to describe your marriage today and you were completely honest, what would those words be? What would those three words have been on your wedding day as you looked forward to a lifetime together? Is there a gap between then and now? If there is, do you need to reframe your marriage? Have you spent too much time immersed in the world’s view of marriage? Is it time to reframe your marriage by looking at the benefits of marriage and keeping your focus on those? What’s the first step for you?
*“20 Benefits of Healthy Relationships” by Sylvia Smith; January 11, 2012; marriage.com
Challenge:
Write down two sets of three words: The first is describing your marriage today and the second describing what you wanted your marriage to be on your wedding day.
Look at your two lists. Is there a gap between them?
Now write down the three words you want to be able to use moving forward when you describe your marriage.
Next Step:
Mentally move the frame you have of your marriage from where it is to where you want it to be. Ask God to help you build those things into your marriage.
Answers to Trivia
How Well Do You Know “May”?
Emerald
Kentucky Derby
France
Star Wars
Cannes
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