Spiritual Intimacy: The Essence of Intimacy
This week in the Dispatch:
Quotes and More Fun Trivia in Quick Hits!
“The Like Switch” in Books
Distractions in Marriage: Part 1 - this week’s featured YV Plan
“Intimacy His Way” on the Podcast
A “Broken Record” in Streaming
Insights “It’s The Three of You!”
Three doable “Challenges!”
A “Next Step!” where you choose!
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Quotes Worth Considering
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong." - Benjamin Franklin
"I would rather die of passion than of boredom." - Vincent van Gogh
"If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on." - Sheryl Sandberg
Trivia To Make You Think
Each question is worth 10 points. Perfect score 100. Bonus is worth 25 points.
Name the biggest island in the world.
Which country produces the most coffee in the world?
How many Grammys does John Legend have?
What is the brightest star in the sky?
What country has the most vending machines per capita?
What is the most frequently sold item at Walmart?
What are baby owls called?
On average, how long does it take food to pass through the human body?
Which country owns every panda in the world?
Who invented the word “vomit?”
Bonus Question:
What is the most common color of toilet paper in France?
Read, Listen, Watch
Book:
The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer
Jack Schafer is a former FBI Special Agent who specializes in behavior analysis and recruiting spies. He gives proven strategies on how to read people and how to influence how they perceive you. The book is full of tools for turning strangers into friends as well as how to influence, attract, and win people over. It’s about taking control of your communications, interactions, and relationships as you read people and get them to like you for a moment or for a lifetime.
YouVersion Plan:
Distractions In Your Marriage - Part 1
In this five day plan, we will look at things in life that distract us from our marriages. Then we will talk about different ways to protect your marriage from these distractions while nurturing it at the same time.
Podcast:
Awesome Marriage Podcast: 3 Ways To Do Intimacy HIS Way | Ep. 465
This week in the podcast Christina and I talk to the husbands with some practical ways to build intimacy in your marriage the way your wife needs and wants it! Don’t worry guys. Next week it’s the wives turn.
Streaming:
It is no secret that I am a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell. So when I see his name associated with something, I always take a look. Broken Record is for music lovers. Each episode takes us into conversations between the artist and their audience. Among the past few episodes were Barry Gibb, Ziggy Marley, and Marianne Faithful. The interviews are by Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, and Bruce Headlam. The show is hosted by Justin Richmond. This is one of my very favorite podcasts.
Insights:
It’s the Three of You!
This week we wind up this short series on types of intimacy with a look at spiritual intimacy.
Way back when there was just one man and just one woman, we read that they had a very special relationship with God. They spent time with God every single day. I have always thought it was interesting that the Bible says God spent time with the two of them together. This is spiritual intimacy on steroids and I believe it is God’s plan for every married Christian couple today. In my opinion, this intimacy stands above all the rest. It is the essence of intimacy. It connects a couple with each other and with the Creator of the Universe. It does not get any better than that!
In our marriage Nancy and I both have a personal relationship with God. It’s how we grow individually as Christians. It’s what gives each of our lives purpose. Then we have our relationship with God together. The Bible tells us that out of all the relationships in the world, a marriage relationship stands only second to our relationship with God. So together we have a relationship with God.
Nothing has knit us closer to each other and to God than prayer. On our wedding night after we finally got to our hotel room, Nancy looked at me and said, “We need to pray.” If I am being completely honest, praying was the last thing on my mind at that particular time. Yet, looking back, as I have learned the importance of being a spiritual leader in our home, I wish I had been the one to say, “We need to pray.” It’s being in His presence together knowing that He has a plan for our marriage and that plan is good.
Since that night, we have prayed together about 99% of our nights. Over the years, God has helped us raise our kids and impact our grandkids. He has given us answers that we never would have had by ourselves. He has walked us through tough times and joyful times and has never left our side. Honestly, without Him we would not have this 50-year marriage. We could not have done it without Him. So when people ask me what has made the biggest impact on your marriage, I always say, “Praying together.”
Reading the Bible together as a couple is another way to grow in spiritual intimately. It took us a long time to realize the value in reading the Bible together. The first time I read the Bible all the way through we had been married about five years. We were about to have our first child and I knew I needed all the guidance I could get. Nancy has been in Bible studies with other women most of our marriage. We knew there had to be value in reading the Bible together but we just could not get it going. I was lost. Where do we start? I tried letting the Bible just open and then reading what was in front of us. Starting in the middle of Leviticus or First Chronicles did not do much to encourage us to keep reading.
YouVersion and the Bible app opened the door to the Bible for us individually and as a couple. We started reading through the Bible together every year. Through the app we could read the same verses every day either together or on our own and then connect on what we read. If I really learned something from the day's reading or thought God used the verses to help me, I could share them with Nancy and she could do the same with me. We started reading shorter plans together at night before we prayed. God spoke to us through the Word and He still does.
We were married five years before we had kids. For the first three of those years, we were the only married couple among our friends. We were all in our early twenties and could still get into party mode. Yet, no matter what Saturday night held for us, we were always in church on Sunday morning. It certainly wasn’t because we were saints. In fact, we felt just the opposite. I guess we were doing self imposed penance. We felt better after going to church.
Looking back, our motivation for being in church was not always the best, but we were there and God used that to grow us closer to Him. One day we both realized that we really liked being in church and that it did make a difference in our lives. There is something special about worshiping together as a couple. There have been a lot of instances and places where Nancy and I have felt God’s presence but never more than in church. It is the three of us again.
Lots of couples do well in one or more of the types of intimacy we have discussed. Very few couples do well with spiritual intimacy, for a number of reasons. For instance, some people feel their spiritual life is very personal. That is true, but developing spiritual intimacy together does not take away from your own spiritual life. We were designed for that intimate relationship with God. Another reason I see is that people just don’t feel equipped to have a spiritual relationship together. They may feel inadequate or that they don’t know enough about the Bible or that they are afraid of being that transparent with their spouse. There are probably a lot of other reasons but none of them should keep us from pursuing spiritual intimacy with our spouse. It is one of the things that I believe God wants for us. Don’t forget that the very first married couple ever had God right smack in the middle of their marriage. He wanted that with them and He wants it with the two of you.
So much of spiritual intimacy is difficult to explain. Nancy and I know there was a time we did not have it, but now we do. I think we both wanted it in our marriage but we could not just say, “Bring on the spiritual intimacy” and expect it to happen. It happened because we took the steps to build it.
There are two areas of our lives together when we really feel “two become one:” the sexual relationship and spiritual intimacy. Actually, I think that is God’s plan. Spiritual intimacy takes consistency day after day. It is being diligent in the things that connect us to God. If you are there, keep doing what you are doing. If you are not there yet, you can be. Seek God together and know without a doubt that He will show up big time!
Challenge:
Why do you think God wants spiritual intimacy for a couple?
When do you think you nail it with spiritual intimacy?
When do you fall short? What do you need to do when this happens?
Next Step:
Of prayer, reading the Bible, and worshiping, which do you feel contributes the most to spiritual intimacy for the two of you? What is one step you can take to improve spiritual intimacy in your marriage?
Answers to Trivia
Greenland. Greenland has a total area of 2.16 million square kilometers which most of the landmass is totally covered by an ice cap!
Brazil
11. He snatched three awards in his first-ever Grammy Award for Best R&B Album (Get Lifted), Best Male R&B Vocal Performance (“Ordinary People”), and Best New Artist.
Sirius, also known as the Dog Star has an apparent visual magnitude of 1.46. It has a surface temperature of 9, 9940 Kelvins (K) that is 4,000 K higher than that of the Sun.
Japan. Manufacturers lend vending machines free of charge that’s why it skyrocketed in Japan. Anyone can install vending machines as long as permissions were already acquired.
Bananas
Owlets or nestlings
53 hours. The longest part of the whole process is in the large intestine where food can sit for more than 40 hours depending on the person.
China. Also, pandas love to spend their entire 14 hours a day just by eating.
William Shakespeare. The actual word was actually “puking,” first recorded in As You Like It, supposedly an imitation from the German word, “spucken” which means to spit.
Bonus: Pink. Dyeing toilet paper seems to be the French solution to its grotty surface and to make it more appealing to the public.
*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.