Forgiveness is at the heart of any relationship
This week in the Dispatch:
A few more little known facts about Thanksgiving
A book to help battle all the noise
Two new Awesome Marriage podcasts this week!
In Insights we look at forgiveness
Finally, 3 Challenges and a Next Step that can change your marriage!
This Week’s Quick Hits:
In 1928, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade had its first balloons!
Green bean casserole was first introduced to Thanksgiving dinner in 1955!
About 50 million pumpkin pies will be eaten today!
The average consumer will consume 4,500 calories today!
The first Thanksgiving NFL game was played in 1920!
Trivia:
Sarah Josepha Hale, who campaigned for Thanksgiving to be a national holiday, wrote what famous song?
What popular song’s real title is “The New England Boy’s Song About Thanksgiving Day?”
The movie Trains, Planes, and Automobiles is set around Thanksgiving. Who were the two leading stars?
(Find the answers at the bottom of the page after Next Steps!)
Book
Factfulness is a positive book, and I think we all need a little of that in our world today! Factfulness is defined as the skill of recognizing the common types of stories that tend to get all of the attention because they trigger our dramatic instincts. The book describes how to use these rules in all kinds of situations and illustrates them with real life stories. It helps us get a fact-based worldview.
There are three filters that help us: (1) Realize that we don’t see the world as it is, (2) Recognize what types of stories trigger our dramatic instincts, and (3) Use simple rules of thumb to resist over-dramatic stories. I am an eternal optimist so naturally I loved this book, but optimist or not, this is a book that may help you sleep a little more peacefully at night.
Podcasts:
Awesome Marriage Podcast - Two Episodes This Week!
Growing in Communication is the first of two new podcasts this week. Our friends Big Rich and DeAnna join me to talk about the hot topic of communication. If your communication needs help or a tuneup, I think you will find some great practical ideas in this podcast. Big Rich and Deanna are the cohosts of The Growing Marriage Podcast.
Then join Christina and me as we talk about our Our Biggest Marriage Mistakes. We will look at our own mistakes, why we think we made them, and what we learned in the process. I think you will love this episode!
Insights
Forgiveness is at the heart of any relationship. It is the foundation of our faith, as we have a God who provided a way for us to be forgiven. He set the bar, and He set it high. When I talk to singles or teach couples preparing for marriage, I talk about forgiveness. I warn them that if they are in a relationship where a partner cannot or will not forgive, get out!
In marriage, we must forgive each other daily. Every day I mess up and am in need of Nancy’s forgiveness. She messes up, too (but far less than I). God calls us to forgive and when we don’t, unforgiveness eats at our souls and at the soul of our marriage. If our marriages are to survive, forgiveness must be knit into the fabric of our lives together.
So, if forgiveness is so important, why don’t we forgive? I see two main reasons.
First, we fear that our forgiveness says what the other person did was okay. It may seem as though we are letting them off easy. Let me put it in a Christian context: God forgives us, but His forgiveness does not make what we have done okay. It simply means that to God, relationship with us is more important than what we have done. We need to do the same with our spouse. Forgiveness isn’t letting the other off easy; it is what it takes to restore the relationship.
Second, we think that if we forgive easily, our spouse will do the same thing over and over again. Perhaps we are afraid of being hurt again. Or maybe we don’t believe they can change. But I have learned over time that it is not my role to judge my wife. My role is to love her and forgive her.
In your marriage, you will let your spouse down. You will mess up. You will never be perfect and neither will your spouse. You can’t change each other—that’s God’s job, remember? Your job is to forgive.
Challenge:
How easy is it for you to forgive your spouse?
What can get in the way of forgiving your spouse?
God tells us to forgive others, which includes your spouse. What does that mean to you?
Next Step:
If there is unforgiveness in your marriage, I encourage you to do these two things. First, pray. Seek God’s forgiveness and ask God to help you to forgive your spouse. Second, face-to-face and with love, forgive your spouse!
Thanksgiving Trivia Answers:
“Mary Had a Little Lamb”
“Over the River and Through the Woods”
Steve Martin and John Candy
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