As a Christian, do you struggle with being close-minded?
This week in the Dispatch:
Join me for this 40-day journey led by Levi Lusko
The Body Keeps the Score gives us a deeper understanding of trauma and its effects on us
The fine art of confession in marriage. Is this for you?
We will look at the question, “Do Christians have closed minds?”
Two challenges to help you grow
A final thought that could change the world
Books:
Take Back Your Life by Levi Lusko
In September, we will air the podcast I recorded with our friend Levi Lusko, “Thinking Right So You Can Live Right.” It is one of my favorite interviews with one of my favorite pastors.
I just started Take Back Your Life and I want to try something different with you. This book is a 40-day interactive journey that I invite you to go through with me. That doesn’t mean that we will read the same things at the same time. It means that as we read, learn and grow, we will share what God is teaching us with each other. Just email me at drkim@awesomemarriage.com.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD
I found this book fascinating. Bessel van der Kolk is a renowned trauma expert. He has spent over three decades working with survivors. Trauma is part of the lives of many people. It is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the toll that combat takes on a person. One in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. These experiences affect our minds, our emotions and even our biology. Trauma not only affects the person who experiences it, but it can affect those we love the most. Traumatic stress literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically, the areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. Bessel van der Kolk shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments.
As a Christian counselor, I believe that trauma can be devastating. Our entire being can be affected. This book gives great examples of that. The question that comes next is, “Do I count on God to heal me or do I look to medications and/or therapies?” Here is my take. God heals. He healed in the past and He is healing now. God has also given us very gifted people who are able to use their abilities to help us and to discover helpful medications. The truth is that each of us is unique. I have seen God heal. I have seen God use people and medications to heal. Often, I see a combination of both. In essence, healing is from God and also the abilities God has given. So it really is all from God. My caution would be with therapies that might go against your beliefs or comfort level as a Christian. In these cases, pray and ask for God’s guidance. Trauma is real but God has a way out!
Podcast:
Awesome Marriage
Confession is not something that we hear much about but it really is essential. In this podcast Christina and I talk about “Confession in Marriage.” We look at what exactly confession is and how it can improve your marriage. How do we confess? What is a “confession conversation?” How often should we confess? Is there anything that we should not confess? Don’t miss this one!
Insights:
This week let’s return to the article that listed the “10 Biggest Issues Christian Americans are Facing Today,”* and its question, “do we have closed minds?”
Psychology Today defines the “close minded person” as “someone who is not allowed to question their own beliefs....Being wrong is simply not safe. Being right at all times about all that matters is the way to feel safe.” **
I think that being closed-minded in certain areas as a Christian is a requirement. We believe in who God is and how He has revealed Himself through His Word the Bible. We believe in Jesus as God’s Son and that He walked on this earth, died on a cross, and rose again, giving us the opportunity for life eternally with Him. Those are non-negotiables.
But there are other areas where I see Christians being closed-minded that I think cause harm. These are the areas that people hold tight to for all the wrong reasons. It does not feel safe to them to consider being wrong about:
Being legalistic. In other words, basing their faith on what they do. Faith becomes a list of “to do” and “not to do.” It is like what Jesus did was not enough.
Being exclusive by thinking the way our church/denomination does worship is the only way and the others are wrong. It causes division.
Being judgmental of others that are not like them. Jesus spent time with prostitutes, tax collectors, and others that society looked down upon. Enough said.
When we are closed minded in the above ways, it is almost like we are saying that we know what God wants and we will do it our way! It is man constructing God to be what man wants Him to be. That just will never, ever work. Besides that, legalism, exclusivity, and being judgmental drive people away from God, not to Him.
The answer? Certainly, we must be closed minded in the essentials of our faith, but being closed minded outside of the essentials does not portray the heart of Jesus which is love, not only for you, but for everyone.
Did you know that there is nothing you can do today that will increase or decrease God’s love for you? Did you know that will also be true tomorrow and all the tomorrows thereafter?
Bottom line: Learn God’s truths and hold fast to them and love like you never have before.
* “The 10 Biggest Issues Christian Americans Are Facing Today,” www.beliefnet.com, November 18, 2016
** The Closed Mind, Psychology Today, July 6, 2019, Andrea Matthews, LPC, NCC
Challenge
What are the essentials of your faith?
As a Christian, where do you find yourself struggling with being close minded? What is your first step in dealing with that issue?
Final Thought
Love. First Corinthians 23 says, “the greatest of these is love.” God is love. I believe that if every Christian showed love to themselves and others every day, it would not take long for this world to be transformed. How will you love today?
*Some links are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Every dollar made goes directly to the ministry of Awesome Marriage to help couples build awesome marriages. We only promote products we truly recommend.