YOUR JOB PART 7: LISTENING

Listening

Did you know that when you are in a conversation with someone, you can listen 5 times faster than they can speak?  That means that when I am with Nancy and she is talking that I have all this extra time in my mind that I have to figure out what to do with it.

Let’s say Nancy is sharing something that is really important to her with me. Let’s say the entire time she is talking, I am thinking about how to solve her problem or, worse yet, what I am going to do as soon as she is finished.  So in this scenario, Nancy finishes and waits for my response.  What she needs is to know that I have heard her and that I can connect with her at that level.  What she will get is my great solution or nothing.  I did not listen and she will know it.  She will not get what she wanted or needed from me because I did not listen.  Bottom line: Listening to my wife is my job.

How well do you listen to your spouse?  How do you know when your spouse is really listening to you?

Dr. Kim