The Seven Deadly Sins and Your Marriage - Day 7



I think envy is a tough one.  The dictionary defines it as “ a feeling of discontentment or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.”  Here is my take on envy.

There are times when one person envies another.  My experience is that it seldom happens between a husband and a wife.  Usually in a marriage we celebrate each others possessions, qualities, and luck (blessings). They usually benefit both the husband and the wife and are seen as something positive by both.  But what if a husband and wife envy someone else or another couple.  What if the best friend’s spouse gets a big raise and  they move to a bigger, fancier house?  What if the next door neighbor gets a new car and you and your spouse are both driving clunkers?  What if a friend’s wife gets pregnant with their third child and you and struggling with infertility?  These happen and envy can rear its ugly head.  In my culture, envy born out of examples like these is very prevalent and  can be very destructive.

The opposite of envy is contentment and I believe therein lies our answer to envy.  Contentment is being satisfied with what you have.  It is not being driven by what our neighbor has or does not have.  It is watering the grass where you are instead of looking at the greener grass wherever it is.  We can always find someone that has something that we do not have and wish we had it.  We can also always find someone that has less than we do.  The key to contentment is landing in the middle.  It is enjoying who we are and who we are with and what we have.  It is embracing the blessings that God has bestowed upon you.

Envy puts us on a cycle of discontentment.  That is not a healthy way to live either a life or a marriage.  Is envy controlling your life?  Why not bring that before God today and let Him fill your heart with contentment?

Dr. Kim