Let’s look at another response to one of the questions in the Awesome Marriage Quiz on our website. Almost half of you responded “true” to the following statement: “We have a lot of distractions in our lives that take away from our marriage.”
It’s been fifteen years since I sat in a large arena in Amsterdam talking with a man from a small African village. I was taking the opportunity to minister to him—or that was what I thought I was doing. I asked him how I could pray for his country. His answer was simple and uncomplicated, because his life was simple and uncomplicated. He lived in a small village. Most people traveled by bicycle. His focus was serving God, and there was little to get in the way of that. Then he turned to me and said, “I pray for your country all the time. Your people have so much; and because of their abundance, it is difficult for them to find God.” His words stopped me then and stop me now as I recall them. The distractions in our lives get in the way of God’s plan for our lives and our marriages.
There are all kinds of distractions in our culture. Sure, there are the “bad” ones. We have porn, alcoholism, drug addiction, and so on. When these happen, big red flags go up everywhere. But the distractions that can quietly disrupt our marriages are the “good” ones, such as church, volunteer work, kids, entertainment, athletics, and jobs. None of these are bad on their own. But they become harmful to our marriages when they become more important than our Number 1 and Number 2—God and our spouse, respectively. When we lose perspective on our priorities, things begin to go wrong.
I know some of you would like to argue with me now about kids. I get it. I spent a lot of time with my kids when they were at home, and I spend time with my grandkids today. But it’s always been important that my kids and grandkids understand that God is first and Nancy is second in my life. Look at it this way: If we do not model for our children the relationship we have with God and our spouse within marriage, who will? They learn from us first. If we don’t live out our marriage as God designed it to be lived out, what makes you think they will?
Answer this question: What are the distractions in your life today? What do you need to do to keep God first and your spouse second? What is your first step?
Learn more about having an Awesome Marriage in Dr. Kim’s new book, 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.