How have past relationships affected you? Were there things you learned that will help you in your present or future relationship? How did your past relationships end? Often, we let past relationships bleed over into new relationships. This can cause a lot of problems in dating and marriage. If you are still hanging on to the hurts of a past relationship, maybe it is time to do something about it. That may involve forgiving the other person.
People ask me all the time how to forgive someone. It is not easy. We seldom feel like doing it. But the bottom line is that until you forgive, you are still tied to that other person and are still giving them power in your life.
Two points about forgiveness: First, forgiving someone is a decision. You must make the choice to forgive. It does not matter if they have asked for forgiveness or if you feel they deserve it. God tells us to forgive. Second, forgiveness is often a process. It may take time, depending on how deep the hurt is. Stay focused and committed, and you will get there. Remember, if you are going to build a new healthy relationship in a marriage, you have to finish up the unfinished business of old relationships.