Sex in Marriage: Men - Day 2


Here is another area that deals with what we as men want in the sexual relationship in marriage.  It goes without saying that we have more frequent desires and needs, so we usually want sex more often that our wives.  It is not a right or wrong thing.  It is just a fact in most marriages.  So what does this mean for us as men?  I firmly believe that this is the way we are wired.  We think about sex more often than our wives think about it and so we need to be very careful in this area.  We must stay at the comfort level of our wives.  It is okay to ask and to initiate but if tonight is not the night don’t feel rejected.  It is just one of our differences.

This is where communication needs to play a part.  Talk with each other about your sexual relationship.  Talk about what you like and do not like.  Talk about frequency and know that both of you need to be flexible.  There are times that Nancy’s ‘want to’ is not where mine is but she gives herself because she loves me.  My role in this is to not to take advantage of her.  I have to respect her wishes also.

Lots of couples argue over frequency.  There is no magic number of how many times a week a couple should have sex.  It has to be based on what works for you and that number may change from year to year depending on your life circumstances.

Bottom line: Men usually have greater desires and needs but need to work with their wives as to how that will play out in their marriages.

Men how are you handling these sexual differences in your marriage?  Is there something that you need to change?  Will you begin to talk with your wife about the sexual relationship in your marriage and take the first step to improving this area?

Dr. Kim