Roles in Marriage: Does It Really Matter?

This month at Awesome Marriage our theme is “Roles in Marriage.” This is the first of four blogs on the topic. In addition, we have an amazing lineup on the Awesome Marriage Podcast this month as we hit this topic head-on. So let’s get started. If I asked you what you thought the role of a husband or the role of a wife should be in a marriage, what would you say?

There was a time in our culture when the roles were clearly defined. Men worked outside the home and made the income (or most of it). Women stayed home and took care of the house and the children. Those facts in themselves went a long way toward defining who did what.

Today, for most of us, those lines can be blurred. In most marriages, at some point both the husband and the wife will work outside the home. When that happens, it affects their roles at home. Maybe the one who enjoys cooking the most does the cooking, or maybe no one cooks. Both will usually be involved in the household chores, and who does what is up to the couple to decide. So if I sat down with a couple to do premarital counseling and brought up the topic of “roles,” I could literally get a myriad of answers or no answer at all.

This brings us to today’s topic: Do roles really matter in marriages today? We will unpack that over the next few weeks, but let me give you something to think about as we begin this theme. I, for the most part, don’t think it really matters who does what. If I carry out the trash or Nancy carries it out, does it matter? Does it matter who mows the yard (if we have one), or cooks dinner (if we ever cook), or cleans (if we don’t have a housekeeper), or does laundry (if we don’t take it somewhere to be done), or whatever? I don’t think it really matters, and I have a hard time believing it makes much difference to God.

But are there some roles in marriage that do make a difference to God? If so, what are they? In our world, culture often makes the most noise, and we, even as Christ followers, can easily get caught up in it. I want us to take a little time to look for what God is saying to us over and above all the noise.