"My Role as a Stepmom" - Guest Post by Amy Urbach

 

Amy Urbach is the founder of Blended and Bonded. http://blendedandbonded.com/  She and Eric have been married for 6 years. They have 5 kids. Amy has a 21 year old  daughter that is a Junior in college majoring in Marriage and Family Counseling. Amy also has a 17 year old son, he is active in band and wants to go to culinary school. Eric has a 13 year old son that is very active in sports, an 10 year old daughter and a 8 year old daughter. Both girls are active in dance and twirling.  We are honored to have Amy partner with us for Blended Family Month at Awesome Marriage.

Going into my role as a stepmom, I really thought it was going to just be an extension of my role as a mom. After all, I’ve been a mom for a long time and fairly successful at it, in my opinion. When I became a stepmom, it seemed I suddenly became completely incapable of doing anything right. I couldn’t fix hair, I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t buy the right size clothes and shoes. To some degree, it turned my world upside down. I was angry, hurt, frustrated and just about every other negative emotion you could think of.

All along, without even realizing it, God had a plan and had things under control (as He always does). I began to realize that I wasn’t alone and there were many other stepmoms dealing some very similar things. While my circumstances were a little different, the underlying theme was the same. Still today, and especially in the early days, I’ve had the support of a dear sweet friend that God placed in my life shortly after I married. She has been my rock. She too is a stepmom and is on the other side of the difficult times of raising her three stepdaughters. I didn’t ask for her. God was gracious enough to send her to me. If you ask, he will provide someone for you.

You see, I can’t please everyone, but I can please GOD. Pleasing GOD should be and is my purpose. As my pastor recently said, “Being worried about what others think about you is the quickest way to forget what God thinks about you. " (Craig Groeschel)

When I’m angry, I remind myself that troubles happen to the best of us. I forgive myself and forgive those who have angered me. I trust that God has this under control. Proverbs 17:14: “starting a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before it bursts.” Proverbs 14:30: “that a sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.” Proverbs 20:3: “good character averts quarrels, but fools love to pick fights.” Don’t get me wrong, this is easy to put down on paper, but much harder to put into practice. I ask God for strength, peace and wisdom daily.

When I’m lost and don’t know what to pray for, He does: Romans 8:26: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know how or what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us.”

The most reassuring verse I can rest in as a stepmom and life in general is this: Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I am called by Him to be the best wife, mom, stepmom and much more that I can be.

Amy Urbach