"Making Communication Work" by Dr. Kim
Who has the most responsibility in a conversation? Is it the sender or the receiver? I believe it is the sender and here are a few reasons why. If I am trying to communicate something to my wife Nancy, it is important that I say it in a way that she can understand. Sure it is her responsibility to listen but if I do not say it in a way that she can really hear me, the communication will not happen. I know from experience that Nancy will hear what I am saying best if I speak in a calm tone of voice, look her in the eyes, and give her time to respond. If my voice is harsh, if I am distracted and not looking at her, and if I rush her response, she will not hear what i am saying.
Think about the person you are in a relationship with. What have you learned about them that will help you in communicating with them? When do they listen best? What tone of voice works best? What distracts them and what makes them feel comfortable with you? Being a student of the person you are in a relationship with can be a great help in communicating with them. Think about it. Try it out and let me know how it works.
Dr. Kim