Questions For Dr. Kim

Question: How do I get my husband to not lie to me about little stupid things that he thinks will make me mad? It makes me more mad that he lie's instead of telling me the truth.

Dr. Kim: Often we get in the habit of lying to keep from getting into trouble as teenagers.  Then we carry that trait into adulthood and eventually marriage.  The problem is that if you cannot trust each other it keeps you from developing that intimacy and closeness that cements a marriage.  Ask your husband to try being totally honest with you for 30 days.  Your commitment is to not get mad at him.  This can help break the lying cycle.  Let me know if this helps.

Question:  I don't trust my husband. But I really wanted to trust him again. How can I do that if he always disappointments me? When somebody calls you and says she is your husband's mistress? I tried to ignore it. My husband was unfaithful to me before we got married. He always assures me that he will not do anythng to destroy our family. Should i believe him?

Dr. Kim: Since he was unfathful to you before marriage, you started out with a big strike against you.  It is important that you know the truth.  Once you have all the information, you can make the decision you need to make.