Insights from Dr. Kim: Would You Rather?

A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out at my local Barnes and Noble book store. Actually, I was checking out how they were displaying my new book. Once I saw they were doing a great job, I took some time to do one of my favorite things: browse a bookstore. I love looking at new books but I’m always interested in the books that are marked down for some reason or another. I guess we all have a little bargain hunter in us. While looking through the “markdowns” I picked up a book titled 3,000 Would You Rather Questions* and never put it down. I was fascinated by the concept. Here’s an example: “WYR fall asleep during your wedding ceremony or get lost on your honeymoon?” Then there was, “WYR be a good fighter or a good lover?” For the first one, I would choose getting lost on my honeymoon. The idea of getting lost with my bride on our honeymoon sounds like an awesome adventure with the possibility of creating memories to last a lifetime. For the second, I have never been a fighter. Being a good lover is a no brainer on this one for me.

It got me to thinking that most of us play this game almost every day. We have “I would rather” choices that we consciously or subconsciously make all the time. Here are some examples. I am leaving work early. Would I rather get home early and spend time with Nancy or go hang out at the Apple Store? If someone asked me this question, I think that I would say time with Nancy. But if a new Apple product just came out, I might head straight to the Apple Store and not even realize that I made that choice. Here is another. We have Friday night free and have set it aside for a date. A new action/adventure movie is out that I have really been wanting to see. Nancy, on the other hand, would like to go to one of our favorite quiet restaurants and talk. If asked, I would say I’d rather spend time talking with Nancy, but I might also give her the hard sell on going to the action movie instead. Finally, it’s a beautiful spring Sunday afternoon. It is also the day the Masters Golf Tournament finals are on TV. I watch one day of golf a year and it is the Master’s finals, but I also love hanging outside with Nancy on a perfect Sunday afternoon.  If asked, I would say that I would rather be with Nancy but if there is a tight race in the tournament would I rather watch that?

The point here is not that you should never choose to go the Apple Store, go to an action movie, or watch the Master’s. The point is realizing that every day we have choices. I tell everyone that I would always put my marriage and time with Nancy first, and I think I am pretty good at doing that, but maybe there are more “Would You Rather” choices in my life than I think there are.  Verbally I think I will always say I choose her, but is that what I always do? I know this. I have never regretted choosing her and I have regretted choosing some of the the other “rathers” in my life. What about you? “Would You Rather _____ or _____?” When it concerns your marriage, what would you choose?

* 3,000 Would You Rather Questions by Piccadilly Books, Del Mac, CA.  2018.

Don’t miss out on Dr. Kim’s newest book! You may order "14 Keys to Lasting Love" here!