Last week we talked about physical distance and this week we will look at emotional distance.
Most of us know going into marriage that we will have some times of physical distance. But emotional distance is a different story. Most of us stood at an altar and married the person of our dreams. It was Cinderella and Prince Charming. We were going to live happily ever after and that meant staying emotionally connected. In fact, we anticipated that connection growing with each passing year. Then at some point many of us said these words: “I don’t feel as close to you as I used to.” Ouch. That is vulnerable. It hurts. What happens next depends a lot on how our spouse responds to those words. If they discount our emotions, we either seem to fight back or withdraw. Neither choice does anything to address the problem. The emotional distance then grows and we hesitate to bring up the issue again. There are few things more difficult than sitting in the same room with a spouse and feeling emotionally detached from them. That’s not why you got married. It’s time to reconnect emotionally.
How would you rate the emotional connection between you and your spouse? Are you close or distant? Is it better today than a year ago? When did you feel the most connected to each other? If you want to bridge that emotional distance with your spouse, here are four steps in the right direction.
Find a time to talk to your spouse that works for both of you. Make sure there are no distractions. Then discuss the above questions.
From your discussion agree on your next step together. That could be setting aside time each day to talk, praying together, starting a YouVersion plan together or it could be all of those!
Agree to keep the discussion open and refine your steps forward as you bridge the emotional distance gap in your marriage!