John Townsend and Henry Cloud are the people who got this whole boundary thing off the ground over twenty years ago. I remember in the early days when it was truly catching fire across the nation that some Christians struggled with the whole idea. Was it okay for Christians to set boundaries with others? Weren’t we supposed to “turn the other cheek” and “lay down our lives for others”? It became confusing for many. Yet, as we looked deeper into the whole concept, it became obvious that boundaries set in the right way for the right reasons were consistent with Christianity. Here are some points*:
Personal boundaries help to limit our selfish inclination to control or manipulate others.
Proper boundaries aid believers in keeping out worldly influences.
Boundaries are about taking responsibility for our own lives.
Boundaries limit destructive behaviors.
Marital boundaries keep sex and intimacy within the relationship while respecting each person’s needs.
Boundaries are also helpful in parenting. Setting healthy limits for children will protect them.
Boundaries teach us to accept one another as being different yet still valuable.
Boundaries are a fruit of submitting to God’s will, and He will enable us to make godly choices.
Being Christ-like means we can say “no” in unselfish, helpful ways.
As we wind down this month of focusing on Boundaries in Marriage at Awesome Marriage, there are a couple of thoughts I want to leave you with. First, if you have struggled with setting healthy boundaries in your life, I hope you have a clearer idea of how to set them and how to do so in a healthy manner. Second, I want you to see how powerful boundaries can be for a couple as they seek to protect and grow their marriage. Now would be a great time to talk together about boundaries for your marriage. Decide the ones that are essential for you, and make a plan to implement them together. Setting these boundaries together can truly change your marriage for the better.
*Source: Taken from gotquestions.org (http://www.gotquestions.org/boundaries-biblical.html)