4 Secrets Before 'I Do': Submit
Jeff Anderson has been a long time friend of Awesome Marriage. He has a new book out, "Divine Applause", that I highly recommend. Dr. Kim
Give me an "S" give me a "U"… B – M – I - T.
Some single, Christian friends asked if I would share some thoughts with them about marriage. Yikes! One thing is for sure. I am no expert. But a wise man once said that in the land of the blind, a one-eyed man can become king.
Staring into the glazed-over looks of my younger friends, I sensed a responsibility. After all, I am married. And they are not. With my wife not around, I was feeling particularly bold. So I crowned myself “King” for a few moments and perched up in my lazy-boy, throne chair in my living room. Leaning on Ephesians 5 for inspiration, here are some truths that I shared.
Truth #1: Submit – Wives let their husbands lead.
Wives should submit in everything to their husbands (Ephesians 5:24). Ouch! I realize the “S” word has been trashed in our culture. Ladies may not like how it sounds; especially when guys liken it to the throttle on a dirt bike – tossing the word around to rev up their ego-engines. Aside from its abuse in our dysfunctional culture, men are to lead…and women are to submit. This is the biblical model for marriage. It won’t be awesome without it.
If you are single, there are things you can look for now. Ladies - if your marriage prospect is to lead you spiritually, he must first lead himself. This goes deeper than making decisions about where to have dinner or what to watch on ESPN. And your prospect should have a spiritual vision and sense of purpose for his life. And I’m not talking about how many kids he would like to have with you. That usually means something else to him. But can your prospect lead you in a direction that appeals to your faith and lines up with God’s Word? Does he take interest in your life decisions and speak wise counsel that you find helpful? Does he make choices that reflect a godly spirit? Does he show discernment and take steps to guard his faith in a faith-less culture? That’s the stuff worth submitting to.
And guys, what do you see in your marriage prospect? Is she open to your ideas? Does she allow you to express your thoughts? Does she ask you deep questions and listen to your opinions? Or is she too busy only talking and telling?
Here are some red flags. Ladies, is your marriage prospect’s momma the dominant leader in the family? Does daddy run the remote while momma runs the show? If so, watch out. Guys, is your marriage prospect’s momma the boss in the home? Is momma building daddy up – or tearing him down? Often the apple does not fall far from the tree. Take note of what you see. Ladies, this “submit” thing may still sound suspicious. But I encourage you to hang on for the next truth. With a little more context, your bridesmaids will be spelling out S-U-B-M-I-T with pom poms and letter cards as you walk down the aisle one day.
Stay tuned.
Jeff Anderson
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