Questions For Dr. Kim

Question: My husband is 13 years older than myself and our sex drives are very different. Mine is average and his is non existent. How do I keep the fire from dying out. I love him and never would go elsewhere i just don’t want either one of us to get bored and maybe decide to go looking for what we need elsewhere. He is all that i want or need. I want him to feel the same way. Help.

Dr. Kim: I have counseled couples in their eighties that still had an active, although less frequent, sex life. It might help for your husband to talk to his medical doctor and have his testosterone level checked. If it is low, that could be part of the problem. Making a commitment to work on the sexual relationship together could make a difference. Taking time with lovemaking helps, as does paying attention to the atmosphere - candle light, music, etc. A good resource is the book “ A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy” by Douglas Rosenau. Just do not give up!

Question: My husband often changes his mind about wanting our marriage..could it be that he wants out of it or am I dealing with a medical condition such as bi polar? Keep in mind we are still together and he says he loves me and he takes care of me.

Dr. Kim: It would be difficult for me to know if there is a medical condition. I would seek a medical professional in your area to consult with on this. I do think Christian counseling could help you work through these issues. If you guys do not address this issue now, I am afraid you will begin to separate emotionally.