10 More Common Marriage Problems & How to Fix Them

Marriage Coach Felice Mathieu shares 10 more common marriage problems and their solutions to help strengthen your marriage today!

1.) Sex

“How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!  Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. Song of Solomon 7:6

That specific verse in my opinion wisely addresses many common marriage problems relating to sex in marriage. That verse is talking about how excited a husband is about his wife before sex.

I don’t know of one married couple who has ever had marriage issues because their spouse was excited to have sex with them. Husbands want to be desired by their wives. Wives want to be desired by their husbands.

How do you prevent sex from being a serious marriage problem? Do not deprive each other of feeling desirable. Simple. Yet, pretty deep.

Solution: Just in case you missed it, making sure that your spouse consistently feels desired is the solution.

2.) Revenge

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”” Romans 12:19

We are such sinful creatures. When we feel hurt, what do we want to do? We want the one that hurt us to hurt too.

Married couples who are focused on revenge instead of improving themselves in marriage for each other won’t have a happy marriage life.

Solution: What do you do instead of getting revenge? You pray that God removes that urge in you. You realize that if God exercised revenge on you, that you would be in hell. Thank God for His Grace that covers are past, present, and future sins.

3.) Lack of Attention

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25

You focus on the things you care about. Someone who cares a lot about fitness spends a lot of time at the gym. Some who cares a lot about their career spend a lot of time working.

There is no excuse for the one you are in union with not getting that same attention and focus.

Taking your spouse for granted is how spouses often lose focus on their spouse. Don’t make this a marriage problem you commonly face in your marriage.

Solution: “shower” your spouse daily with your undivided attention a.k.a. focus.

4.) Lack of Investment

“The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” 2 Corinthians 9:6

What exactly are you doing to help your marriage flourish?

Solution: Take active steps. You can go to marriage conferences. You could read a marriage book. You can listen to a marriage podcast. All these actions show investment in your marriage.

5.) Lack of Support

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6

It’s easy for married couples to support each other when there is a death of a loved one. It’s easy for us as spouses to support each other when something else traumatic happens. How about we support each other daily, with the simple day-to-day tasks?

Problems in the marriage often occur because one spouse feels like they are alone in the day to day upkeep of raising children, or household chores. Don’t make that a problem in your married life.

Solution: Be mindful of what your spouse goes through on a day to day basis, and be empathetic. Sometimes just asking, “how was your day,” is enough.

6.) Lack of Self-Improvement

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23

You’re not perfect. Neither is your spouse. And guess what? Even if you two go on to be married 40 years, you still won’t achieve perfection. The least you can do for the person stuck with you for four decades is to try to get better every day, in very specific, purposeful ways.

The solution is to consistently “upgrade” yourself for your spouse.

7.) Lack of Empathy

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Why do we understand something deeply when it happens to us, yet fail to apply that same understanding to someone else? Jesus, have mercy on us.

Sometimes your spouse doesn’t need or want your judgment, rebuttal, or solution. They just need you to feel what they are going through. If they get cut, you say ouch. That’s the idea behind empathy.

Solution: Being understanding toward your spouse is how you prevent the lack of empathy from being a marital problem. 

8.) Lack of Knowledge

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5

Investing in your marriage should lead you to be more knowledgeable about different aspects of your marriage. Would you like to be a more romantic person in your marriage? Do you find being romantic one of the challenges you face in marriage?

Great, you identified a common marriage problem many married couples have.

Watch videos on being romantic in marriage. Read books that talk about romance. Go to a conference where the theme is igniting passion in your marriage.

Solution: Always keep learning to turn your weaknesses in your marriage into strengths.

9.) Silence

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Proverbs 17:28

If you keep silent in order to prevent yourself from saying something unkind to your spouse, then great. I applaud you for your wisdom and restraint.

However, if you are the type of spouse to keep silent because you don’t’ like, or don’t want to talk about marriage issues, then, your silence is one of the worse forms of common marriage problems.

Solution: Learn when to speak, and when to be silent. Work on developing a healthy balance. 

10.) Disrespect

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

Many times disrespect is a marital issue because one spouse doesn’t agree with how the other spouse thinks or feels about a particular problem in their marriage. Instead of learning to work through those differences, the spouses choose to disrespect each others views.

Who says your view is right to begin with? You assume you’re right. Then by default, your spouse is wrong so you proceed to belittle their viewpoint.

Solution: You need to keep in mind what type of husband or wife you desire to be. Do you want to be known as a disrespectful spouse? If not, learn to work through those differences in a way that doesn’t automatically display that your spouse is less-than.

Felice Mathieu is a Marriage Communication Coach, spoken word poet, and author of A Christian Marriage Guide: Preventing Arguments and Promoting Unity in the Christian Marriage. Check out more great insights from Felice at MarriageSharing.com, and follow Felice on Instagram and Facebook for more great marriage advice!