Couple’s Body Language and Tone Examples

Words are only part of communication.

I first heard this concept in my early years as a counselor in a book by Virginia Satir, who was a well known psychologist at that time. She said that 3 things go into good communication - body language, tone of voice and actual words. That made total sense to me. The revelation was when she put percentages by each. She said that in communication what the other person hears is 53% body language, 37% tone of voice and 7% our actual words. No wonder our spouses think we did not say things that we know we said. They never heard our words because our body language and tone of voice did not match our words.  

So you can say the best words ever to your spouse and they may never hear them. As a counselor, I get to practice this a lot.

Below are some examples of good body language and tone and poor body language and tone so that you can tangible see why this is so important and where most couples go wrong.

Body Language and Tone: Couples Example’s

Role 1: A Couple Demonstrating Poor Body Language and Tone With Your Spouse

Role 1: A Couple Demonstrating Good Body Language and Tone With Your Spouse

Active Listening: Couples Example’s

Active listening is the receiver’s end of the body language and tone of voice. It’s just as important to have good body language and tone when you are listening to your spouse as it is when you are speaking to your spouse.

Below are some examples demonstrating poor active listening and then good active listening to give you some tangible examples.

Role 2: A Couple Demonstrating Poor Active Listening with Your Spouse

Role 2: A Couple Demonstrating Good Active Listening With Your Spouse