The Cambridge English Dictionary defines “back to back” as: “close together and facing in opposite directions.” Part of that sounds really good - “close together.” It’s a feel-good phrase. That’s what we all want in our marriages. We want closeness with our spouse. We didn’t get married to be distant from each other. We want everything closeness can bring in the most intimate relationship we have besides Jesus.
Then there is the “facing in opposite directions” part. Does that negate closeness? Does that keep us from having what we want in marriage? I actually think it builds security, safety and intimacy. Get this picture. If Nancy and I are standing back to back, our vision of the world around us goes from an individual 180-degree view to a 360-degree view as a couple. It means as a couple we do not miss anything. If we are rotating while back to back, we each have the opportunity to bring our perspective to what we both see. If there is something that could hurt or harm us, there can be no sneak attack. If there is something exciting or something to celebrate, we won’t let it pass us by. If one of us misses something, the other will see it. If one of us expresses our perspective on what we see, the other can add their input and broaden the perspective as we rotate. It’s the whole “two are better than one” idea from Ecclesiastes.
Do Nancy and I have to literally always be back to back? No. All we have to do to have the benefits of “back to back” is to value each other’s 180-degree view. We can let these different views pull us apart instead of drawing us closer together or we can see the value in each other’s views and embrace the safety, security, and intimacy that they bring.
Two really are better than one, and standing back to back is a great position to have in an Awesome Marriage.